Am I Alone?

So I sent my Blog page to my friends yesterday and I'm still alone here. WTF!!! I'm still waiting for someone to comment. Hello, is anyone out there?

So last night I actually had a girls night out with Sally and Alice. It's the first time in.....hmmmm......probably five years that I've been out without any kids and didn't have to hurry home. It was the most fun I've had in forever. It was the most fun I've had in five years while wearing clothes. We had coctails and they were delish! That should be real good for weight loss, but I only had four....and a lemon drop shot....and a couple "Kick in the Cahonies" shots. Then I smoked about 10 little cigars. What the hell was I thinking? Yeah, I got picked on because I was choking on them, and I don't know how to light one, or hold it, or not suck it in and not inhale. After I got home I brushed my teeth and still felt like I had an ashtray in my mouth. Even all day today I felt like I had an ashtray in my mouth. I don't know how smokers do it. Sally told me this morning that they just get used to the ashtray mouth, LOL!

You know, speaking of that, I've heard of people taking up smoking or chewing to lose weight. Does anyone know if it works? Then what happens when you want to quit smoking? I can't think of one person who has quick tobacco and didn't gain weight. I'm just curious, I don't plan on taking it up or anything. Scott would sneak and chew behind my back when he was shedding weight....didn't make me happy. That's all he needs, tongue cancer.

Well, I stayed out really late, until 1am. Then the baby had me up at 6:45 am. That was a real treat. Crying baby, headache, ashtray mouth, less than five hours of sleep. Gotta love that. I had great intentions of getting up and out this morning. I needed to finish my grocery shopping for the big diet kick-off Monday morning. I have four loads of laundy in the works by 9:30 am, had my shower and a little coffee and still had a tough time getting out the door. I finally had to sleep in the recliner for about 45 minutes while the baby had her morning nap. I remember begging my daughter (yeah, I know) for a few minutes to close my eyes and could she please listen for the baby. I was so tired I just couldn't stand myself....so I got a catnap. A rare treat.

I did make it to Meijer, about 3pm for the last of my groceries for the diet. Preparing for a diet is like a huge production and I know damn well that it will be a miracle if I make it through one day of point counting. My neighbors are both doing Weight Watchers and he is doing great counting points, she is not doing so great. Her words, not mine. We'll see how it goes. Scott is on board with me so I hope that he is going to help keep me moving. He is always so good about making me excersize so I am going to tell him not to go easy on me. He likes to walk over to the tennis courts at the school and kick my ass in tennis. I tend to be a sore loser so I don't like to play even if it is good excersize.

I keep sitting here thinking about summer being here. The thought of going onto the beach in my swimsuit makes me sick. My little guy has a friend and his family spends alot of time at the same lake we like to go to. His mom is petite and I'm the elephant woman. Oh how I dread summer and having to wear a swimsuit. I am trying to channel that into some motivation. You should see my swimsuit. Dark blue skirt thing for a bottom and the top is like a snippet of amazon jungle. Big bold leaves and maybe some flowers, I can't even remember. But it is scary. I don't know what the makers of Plus size clothing are thinking. "Here's a plus size woman, lets put large floral prints on her in bold colors." Yeah, that's attractive. I tried on a couple of suits at Kmart because they were black and I thought that might help hide me a little bit. I looked like a stuffed sausage. There was no hiding anything. Have you ever tried hiding a big zit on the end of your nose? Yeah, it doesn't work because there is no hiding it.

So, I'm laying here in bed on my laptop and I'm thinking that I should go have a snack. See how my brain works? I feel like I've made enough excuses for myself. For four years I have convinced myself that there are reasons for not losing weight. I'll give you some examples:

• I just had a baby. (Almost 8 months ago)
• I have my period so I'm carrying some extra water. (Only good for 3 days out of 30)
• My body has always retained water. (50 pounds worth????)
• It's my thyroid. (Or the cheesecake.)
• My metabolism is slow. (Or I'm too lazy to excersize.)
• I don't have time to work out, I have four kids. (Or, again, I'm too lazy to excersize)
• I get too bored on the treadmill so when spring gets here I'll start walking. (It's too damn hot to walk outside today, I'll do it tomorrow.)
• Tennis is good excersize but Scott always wins and I hate that. (He is better than me and I get a really good workout, and I'm too lazy to run that much.)
• My clothes shrunk in the dryer. (Or I eat too much dessert.)
• My back hurts so I can't excersize. (It would feel better if I lost some weight.)

I would love for my friends to share their lists with me. I've tried to get my friend on board with dieting with me. She said she needs to mentally prepare for a diet. She did Atkins a year or so ago and lost 80 pounds. YEAH!!! Scott and I tried Atkins and we only lasted for about a half of a day. I could eat weird stuff at weird times of the day to stick with it, but Scott hated it. So, that was the end of that. Anyhow, my friend and I have shared alot of weight frustrations. You know what we hate....we hate back fat! You know what I mean. We hate the back fat. And it's the last place I'll lose any weight. No, the first thing to go on me....my chest. Trust me, I have little to spare so I hate that about dieting.

Ok, so tomorrow is the big day. I'll check in tomorrow night and let you know how the first day went. I'm not sure what I'll be fixing for Scott and I to eat. I'm working on a menu and that should help. Wish me luck.