A Tough Decision

I just wanted to pop in quick....it's super late and I'm very tired.  My day started at 5am and I didn't get home until after 6pm.  Thank goodness I have the next 5 days off.

I had a topic in mind to talk about tonight, but I'm just too tired.  The events of the day have left me exhausted.  I went in early to work to attend the staff meeting.  I was late of course, but I had to let the dog out since Jason didn't do it and the neighbor dog was out.  The neighbor dog is much more interesting to Bailey than getting her stupid ass in the dog kennel to do her businese.

Anyhow, I was late...but only a few minutes.  Oh well.

I went on a job interview.  It's amazing to me that the people of Michigan claim there are no jobs.  I have had 3 job offers in the last 2 months and I'm not really trying.  Anyhow, I was interviewed for a small business, they are in the business of placing workers with employers.  Almost like Manpower, but on a more personal level.  There are three partners and they were fantastic when I met with them.  They made me feel at ease and they offered me a very good wage.  I can keep my job with TMAT while I work for this new employer.  If things go good, I will leave TMAT once I get down the road a few months.

That's between you and I, ok.

Anyhow, one of the owners called before I even got home to offer me the job.  I called him back and accepted it....and proceeded to have a severe anxiety attack.  I think I even scared Scott.  It was ugly and I actually took double my medication for anxiety.

I don't like change.  I love the job I have and the only reason I have sent any resume's has been under duress.  (i.e. Scott has bugged the piss out of me until I sent some).  At the same time, my job has become so stressful.  I have cried every single day this week at work due to stress.  They sent my son on a job that was a domestic violence issue.  The woman, 6 months pregnant, had a husband who'd broken her nose and gave her a concussion.  He is in jail, but his family threatened the wife and her family.  My son and his driver were sent into this situation (the state of MI was paying to have her moved to a safe residence) they were sent to this move without any advance knowledge of the danger at this home.

Jason said that there were gang kids walking up and down the sidewalk and that the house was in the "hood".  He also told me that at the end of the job, the entire family started freaking out and they were screaming at Jason and his driver that they had to leave, NOW, because the husbands family had pulled up in front of the house in their car.  Jason said that he was actually pretty nervous about the whole move. 

You know when the Kent County DHS gets involved in an emergency move that things are BAD.  My 17 year old son was sent to this residence without any preparation.  I feel that I was deliberately not told about the situation because there was another crew that could have taken that job and I would have insisted that they not sent my son.

I stay out of his business at work.  When I don't like what's going on with his hours, or other things that come up....I keep my fucking mouth shut.  I'm his mom, but I let him handle it so he won't be embarassed.  I also don't want them to take things out on him because of something that I say.  The worst part of it is that there are favorites.  The two people doing the schedule have their favorites.  One of them just won't schedule Jason at all.  The other says that Jason is one of his main guys.  I dont' agree with how things happen in the office on a regular basis, but I keep my mouth shut.  If Jason is unhappy with his hours, I let him address it with the managers.

But this was over the top and I'm still upset over it.  I lost my cool yesterday and only worked a couple of hours because I was so mad that my head felt like it would explode if I didn't leave.  Today wasn't much better.

I love my son and I feel like if I leave this job I am abandoning him and i won't be there to protect him.  And it's not just him.  When it comes to our movers, I have their back.  I always defend them and give them the benefit of the doubt.  Other's in my office do not feel that way.  So I feel like if I leave, I am leaving Jason to the wolves.  I don't know what to do.  I'll keep both jobs for a while, but I'm not happy about it.

Guess I had something to say afterall tonight.  Night all!