Jourdan went to her dad's today. She hasn't been there in....I don't know...it's been more than a month. I just hate it when she is gone. She would be in her room on her facebook page all night chatting with her friends and I'd be in my room on facebook and writing on my blog....but she would still be in the other room.
Geez this has been a long week. John with his chicken pox. Sami got three little pox on her after the fever. They actually didn't get very bad, which is what Beth told me. Thank goodness she did get her second shot, I think it saved alot of misery for her and for me this coming week.
John fell asleep in the chair in the living room after dinner. He's feeling better but he get's tired very easy. Poor little guy. Sami didn't know what to do with herself with John sleeping and Jourdan gone. She likes to have a sleep over in Jourdan's room on the weekends. I asked her if she was ready for me to tuck her in and she kept saying, "no, I sleep in Jo's room". She doesn't understand that Jourdan went to her dads. In her two year old world, Daddy is everyone's daddy.
So, she brought some of Johns toys in my room. It's so funny. She has babies and barbies and girl toys but she brought in a robot, iron man, some trucks, a motorcycle, and some other action figures.....and climbed onto our bed. She fell asleep between my feet with all the toys around her. She is out cold. Now I have to move her to her own bed and hope she stays asleep.
I had one of those emotional days today. WOW, BIG NEWS! TRACY HAD ANOTHER EMOTIONAL DAY TODAY! I have put Jason's list together for his graduation invitations and I bought the announcements from the school, and they are cool by the way. Then Jason tells me he doesn't want plain open house cards. He wants the same ones his dad got from Hooper Printing. Did I already bitch about this? Sorry if I'm repeating myself.
So, I call Hooper this morning, email them a different photo of Jason along with our address and by this afternoon I was picking up his Open House invitations. They took the original layout that his dad had, changed the photo and changed the party info and printed them. Then, they gave me a discount because it had already been set up for Jason's dad. Instead of $57.00 they charged me $30. Yay me! Finally, it pays off to have been married to Paul.
(If you're not laughing your ass off right now you better read that last paragraph again, lol).
Jourdan and Sami went with me to pick up the cards. His picture is so handsome on the card. I tried to put a copy in with my post but it wouldn't let me. That's ok, I'll just be mailing them out to everyone soon anyways. Here is the picture I put on it.
Isn't he handsom? I have no idea how I ended up with such gorgeous kids. Well, with Scott I know....but Paul? Yuck! Anyhow, I pick up his invitations and cry all the way home. I was telling Jourdan that it was freaking me out that she was going to be a Freshman next year because high school went so fast for Jason. I don't even know where the last four years went....seriously. They flew by. And I know the same will be true for Jourdan. I told her that it was just too much for me to even think about right now.
Tonight I put the whole graduation announcements and invitations together. You know, the double envelopes and the foil stickers. Jason has 4 days of school left, and on Thursday he'll go to Senior Breakfast and then get his senior release form. Thursday will be his last day of high school and two weeks from Sunday he will graduate.
Hold on......I'm crying.......
I saw on the news last night that a girl from Saranac died Wednesday night. She was 17 and a senior. Today would have been her last day of school and she would have been graduating. I can't even imagine losing a child at such a young age. The bitch of it was that she died after leaving a wake for another Saranac high school senior who had just passed away. Life can be cruel.
You're probably wondering why I'm bringing this up? It just came to me as I was sitting here feeling sad about Jason being all grown up. It's not really something to be sad about. He's alive and he's growing up. Two sets of parents are mourning the loss of a child the same age as Jason this week. Just a couple of miles from where I'm sitting right now. It's just so hard to realize that you've raised your child and he's almost ready (I said 'almost') to go out into the world on his own. I did it. That's what parent's do right? It's our job to raise our children so they can go out into the world and make a life for themselves.
Man, that just sucks. Totally a mom's point of view. Not ready for it. Can't stop it. Still sucks. But I'm thankful he's safe. Things in life could be so much worse. He just came in from a trip to Grand Rapids with Nick. I'm glad he's home and in for the night. It's rainy and crappy outside and he's here at home safe. Guess that'll be good for now.
Poor Sami, she just misses her sister and brother. Before Dolly went to school, she would sit here waiting for Ty and Zach to get back from school, constantly asking, "Mama, when my brudders be home?" It's so sad that they don't understand. At least Sami made herself feel better with some self-comfort. She's having happy dreams.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to make you feel good about Jason's graduation, woman!! You should be ecstatic; look at the great kid you raised. I'm thinking you need to stop watching/reading/webbing the news. I did a few years ago and I'm much happier for it.
I'd rather concentrate on all the great efforts I'm putting forth in life rather than bombarding myself with all the negative bullshit the media feels the need to present to me on a silver platter. You should try it, even for a week or two. Try it until Jason's graduation is done. Then you'll be free to enjoy this milestone with Jason and congratulate yourself and Scott for a job well done.
If you want to go back to the news after the graduation, so be it. For now, though, let your mind have a break from the unhappy.
You know I love you. Would I steer you wrong? :)
Thanks Beth! I'm working on it. I'm really proud of Jason and he's a great kid. Well, he's not really a kid anymore....but not all grown up either. I'm excited for him and feel like I'm grieving at the same time.
ReplyDeleteGraduation is Sunday, keep your fingers crossed for me....that I don't have a complete meltdown. LOL.
My dad used to say, "You're not a real person until you're 25." He said that, by then, you (should) have all the major partying out of your system, and should be adjusted to being a grown up and understand what life is all about. So Jason has a few more years before he's a full grown-up. You can still call him a kid. :D
ReplyDeleteGraduation is Sunday and you want me to pray you DON'T have a complete meldown? Girl, you've earned that meltdown. I say, have at it. Just make sure you are okay to take pictures of the graduate and the ceremonies.