Stepping Forward!

I just have to say, I love reading Beth's Blog posts.  She always has so much to say, much better than my psychotic rambling.

I had a Pampered Chef party last night.  We had a FULL house!  It was alot of fun, I made Sangria and Lemonade with slices of fresh lemon and a half bottle of Vodka in each pitcher!  My sister Tina was telling me that when she got to mom and dad's last night, dad asked her...."did mom have any drinks tonight?"  I'm laughing cos Mom drinks booze like twice a year.....always at my house and always at a party I'm having.  Tastefully Simple, Pamapered Chef, a naughty pary...you get the point.  So, I guess she was being goofy!  What a light-weight!

My alarm went off at 7:10am and I would have given anything to turn that baby off and go back to sleep.  Damn I was tired this morning.  I laid here and even thought about letting John skip school just so I could turn off my alarm and go back to sleep.  Am I a cool mom or what?

Well, I did drag my sorry butt out of bed and to the coffee pot.  John was up late so I had to shake him to get him up.  I even had to wake up Sami to take John to school.  I"ll be so glad when school it out for the summer.  I am so sick of running out so early in the morning to take him to school.  On my work days, it's not so bad cos I take him to school, I drop Sam off to Addie's and then I go to work.  On my days off, getting up and out so early is a bitch!

So last night Tina and I decided we'd do coffee and cinnamon rolls this morning.  Well, when she got here I ws asleep in the recliner and Sam was sitting next to me with a RED marker.  She had completely colored her legs from her thighs down to her ankles with red marker.  Wow, that is some good parental supervision.

Well, Tina got no coffe and no cinnamon rolls.  Poor girl, I'm a terrible hostess.  We're going to try again tomorrow morning.

So, we are sitting here...me in my recliner and Tina is in Scott's recliner.  What to do, what to do.  Well, there's laundry.  I'd gotten one load in to the dryer and another into the wash.  The dishwasher got loaded and was running and Sam helped me vac the living room.  (No wonder I needed a morning nap.)

Finally, Tina say's...."well I need to buy some cat food, do you want to go to Walmart".  YAY!   How bad is it when it's a good day to get out and buy catfood?  What has my life become?  LOL

Anyhow, we went to Grand Rapids and got some lunch.  We bummed around a little.  Oh, I almost forgot, I bought perm rods at Sally Beauty Supply.  My big purchase today.  You know, perms are never a good situation and I never learn.  I'm sure I'll regret it, come hell or high water I'm giving myself a perm this weekend.  If it's really good, I'll be sure to post a photo so you all have something to laugh at next week!

At least I finally feel like I'm pulling out of my funk.  Scott and Tina have made a huge difference.  And honestly, reading Beth's blog has been helpful to me too....more than she probably knows.  Making changes in a person's life can be tough.  For me, stress and anxiety have taken over.  I am taking steps to help myself.  I'm even going to see a therapist next week.  It's my goal to learn how to handle stress better.  I'm ashamed to admit it, but my kids are driving me crazy.  I'll be just fine, and two minutes in the car with the three youngest and I'm up to my eyeballs in stress.  Makes me want to scream!

I don't want to be that way.  It's not fair to me or my kids.  I love them and I think I'm a damn good mom.  Jason and his friends informed me that I'm "the cool mom".  Well, I don't want to screw up that reputation.  They like being here, which seems like they are always here, because I let them do what they want.  Well, I don't know about that, but I do let them be fun and do silly things that teenagers do.  Geez, I'm not THAT old...I remember what it's like to be a teenager.  I'm glad that his friends are so at ease here, and he has nice friends.  So, it all works out.

So, I'm going to see a therapist and learn some relaxation teqniques and learn how to better deal with my stress.  I've been telling my boss that it's not work, but I've been thinking about it the last couple of days and I decided that work is contributing.  I've been upset over how they are treating Jason.  I think they are afraid to say anything negative to him cos he's my son.  I know he's doing a good job because his comment card scores from customers are excellent.  He's also making a butt-load of money on tips.  Two weeks ago he made $90 in one day from two customers.  Gee whiz, on top of his hourly pay...was a good money day.

They've been screwing him over a little on his hours so I've been upset about that.  I got a little out of hand this week and blew a nut with a co-worker.  Well, I apologized, I felt bad about it afterward and I think all is well at this point.  Two Men And A Truck is a GREAT place to work.  My boss really does care about the people in our office as well as our front-line!  I just need to not take things so personally.  Thankfully, my boss knows I'm an emotional type of person and he's being patient while I'm dealing with some stressful things in my life.

When I told Scott I'd made an appt to see a counselor, he's was like, "what?"  And then the typical male response, "I don't have to go do I?"  Well, since we aren't having any marital problems, ummm no!  It's not marriage counseling.  It's keeping me sane counseling.  Right now, I need it and I need to focus on me right now.  Steps in the right direction.  Steps forward!  I have alot of support so I know that I'll pull my head out of my ass and start feeling better.  Besides, I'm tired of looking at everything through my belly button.  (Yeah, cheesy...I know).

I'm actually looking forward to it, an entire hour each week that is just about me.  I don't even get to pee by myself in this house.  This poor therapist has no idea what she's getting herself into with me, lol.