I was pretty harsh on Scott with my post yesterday. First of all, I've been dreading my 40th birthday since I turned 30. I think that the last several months it had escalated and I kept telling everyone I didn't want cake, I didn't want a big deal about it....that's exactly what I got and then I got pissed. Well, that wasn't fair.
I shouldn't make excuses, maybe just a thought or two on what my problem was. I think that age bothers some people more than it bothers others. I wanted to forget the age part, but enjoy the birthday part. So, I'm sure I was sending mixed signals out to Scott. I know I made him feel bad, he made me feel bad...it was just a bad situation.
But today, all is well. When I wrote last night, I was completely exhausted and emotional. I started the day very early, spent a shit load of money renewing license plates, then rushed off to a football game and sat in the pouring rain for two hours before the game and then they didn't even let Jason play. The Defense was barely on the field. I have the same problem with Lowell Football that Scott does, and many other parents. The coaches have their favorites, and if your child isn't one of them they may or may not play. The score was 42 to 7, don't you think they could afford to put some of their second string kids in to let them have some play time?
Ok, I'm not going to bitch about football. It upsets me and there isn't thing one I can do about it. When I got home last night I'd been in the cold rain for over four hours, I was wet, I was cold, and I was sad that it was my 40th birthday. I took it out on Scott. I picked a fight with him over it when I got home and promptly apologized. I know when I'm wrong.
I think that sometimes men just need to be reminded that they need to make days that are special to women, special. Today, was a great day. I am over that 40th year birthday hump and I am telling myself not to think about it.
I've been working my ass off to get the weight off my ass, lol. I've lost, since Feb, 21 pounds and I feel pretty damn good about it. I put on my leather coat yesterday and I showed it off for my family and friends tonight. It felt really good to put it on and zip that thing up.
The only thing I feel bad about is that I didn't exercise this weekend. Well, Friday and Saturday. Shame on me! I'm going to really work out tomorrow. Well, Scott and I had some fun and I'm sure that I had at least 20 minutes of aerobic activity, lol. Shhhhh! ;)
Tomorrow I'll get myself on the treadmill. That's what really burns the calories. I like working out with the weights best, but the treatmil is the most calories to burn. So, that's what I'll do.
Today was a good day. I went to lunch with Kathie and the kids, we had munchies while we watched the Ohio State game. I tried really hard not to overeat, but then Kathie and the kids went and bought me a cake. I had a piece of chocolate cake after dinner and it was so good. I didn't eat any snacks tonight. Scott had donuts for a snack, but I refused. That was really hard. I thought about popcorn or some of the pringles stix. I changed my mind.
We make choices every day. For someone who is dieting and trying to lose weight, it can be a moment to moment choice. It's a constant battle. I just need to make sure I get back to working out tomorrow. I should have tonight, but the day got away from me and we had company all day. At least Ohio State beat Wisconsin. That was good!
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