My Photo Woes

I am in a funk tonight. I'm feeling crappy....so here I am.

It's been a long week. Seriously, the last few weeks seem to have had 14 days in them instead of 7. Scott is on second shift now and that has turned our life upside down. The complete and utter turn in the behavior and temperament of our children amazes me. Would they ever think of acting like this while Scott was home......are you kidding me?

It's been an eventful week. As you know, I had the flu last week. If you don't know that....scroll down a couple of posts to read about my near death experience. Ok, I've recovered from that. I went to work on Monday after being off for several days and I discover that one of my co-workers has gotten a very substantial raise and is making a considerable amount of money more than I am. She has only been there two months longer than I have so this was a serious kick in the teeth. I'm upset about it, but what does a girl do? It's not like jobs are just laying around for me to stumble over. So, as always, I suck it up and keep my mouth shut.

We re-listed our Expedition on craigs list...I think Sunday night. Well the damn phone has been ringing off the hook. Seriously. Monday night I was on the phone half the night and 3 or 4 people came and looked at it. Tuesday night, same deal. At the same time I had listed a ring on craigslist and I was getting calls for that too. Chaos? I wish it was that easy.

So, we ended up selling the truck and we just got together today with the guy at the bank and now it's gone. I came home, fed the kids and then drove to GR to meet someone to look at the ring. I sold that too! Thank goodness. I've been on the go all day and I'm beat.

Ya know, Sami woke me up at 6 am this morning. She was ready to get up and when I opened my eyes I had a headache. Maybe I should have started there because it nagged me all day. When I got to work it was pounding, when I went back home......pounding.....and still tonight.

Now, you know that I've been struggling with getting 45 pounds off....basically since I had John. I'm so beyond disgusted with myself that it's not even funny. Scott is jogging and eating healthier and he has lost 20 or so pounds. Me, I'm just at 6 pounds....and I've been dealing with this same six pounds for a long while. 6 lousy pounds. Obviously, I'm not active enough. I look at myself in the mirror and get so mad. I have a photo of myself, the one and only I have had taken in a long time....and I look at it to try to motivate myself. (Makes me want to puke, but I guess that can be motivating too.)

So, I already feel lousy about how I look. I hate running into someone I know at Meijer because it's just embarassing. I get on Facebook tonight to see what's going on and I happen to accidentally click on my "photo" tab and there are 4 or 5 ginormous photo's of fat me. WHAT? WHERE DID THESE COME FROM???? My heart is pounding! I'm clicking on them. I'm clicking and panicking about them being on my page. Then, I discover that a photo happy friend posted them on her facebook page and they appear on mine as well! OMG! You know who you are......take em off or you'll make me cry!

Goodness, I about passed out when I saw these pictures....right after I wanted to throw up.

Ok, so this has just been a shitty day. I shouldn't be bitching. I'm just completely exhausted, and I know Sami isn't going to let me sleep late. That won't happen anyhow, we are buying a truck for Jason tomorrow morning. I just didn't need to see my larger than life (or actual size photo) of myself out there for everyone to see what I've turned into. It topped off this day!

Now, I'm done.