When They Need Me.....

Beth and I have had alot of discussion lately about our families.  Lord help us to accept the things our families dish out!

When I first opened up my blog page, I scanned by my long post from the other night again.  Not to read it, but to look for a comment.  I knew Beth would have something to say that would make me feel better.  I was right. 

I met Beth during Paralegal classes at Kaplan.  We had several online classes together and that's how we got to be friends.  We have never met but I have come to depend on her.  I read her blog, and I know she reads mine....and then we talk things over.  What a great friendship we have!

I had an interesting thing happen tonight at my parents house, and as soon as it happened I knew that it would be my blog topic for tonight.

Scott had called me earlier at work and said that he was going to take John for a guys night out.  Ok.  He wanted to go up to Trufant to Joey's house and look at an old car.  I can't even remember what it is, but it's 40 or so years old and it's the kind you park in the pole barn and restore it. 

Jourdan wanted to go hang out with her cousin and Jason was working so I thought it would be fun for me and Samantha to have a girls night.  I took her to McDonalds for a chicken nugget kids meal and I got an iced tea.  Lowell McDonalds has the BEST iced tea!  And it's only $1!!!

Anyhow, I asked Sami what she wanted to do.  "Go see TT and cat".  That means go to my parents house to see Aunt Tina and Kitty.  She LOVES Kitty and Aunt Tina lets Sami give her treats.  Yum.

So, the guys left, Jourdan left, and we went to McDonalds then to my parents house.  My mom was really shocked because we never go up there.  Well, we are never invited either.  I know, I don't need an invitation to go to my parents house.  I have issues ok!

We actually had a nice time.  Tina was there so Sami was very happy.  We hung out and talked politics and who we want to vote for in August for the primary and who we hope will run for Governor in November.  My dad, Tina, and I all love to talk politics. 

I happened to check my phone and realized that I'd missed a call from Scott.  Don't know how...the phone was sitting right there.  So I called him back and he said he was on his way home.  Trufant is about a 45 minute drive so I knew I had a few more mintues to chat.  He asked me if I could put foil back on the bedroom window when I got home so he could sleep.

Have I talked about this already?  I guess years back before I met Scott he worked 3rd shift and the best thing he found to keep the light out was by putting foil on the windows.  He also lived in Alaska for over 2 years and during the summer you only get a couple hours of dusk...not darkness.  Anyhow, he talked me into putting foil on the windows a while back because he's been getting up so early for work.  That means he goes to bed by 8pm and it's still sunny and he has a hard time getting to sleep.

I told him I'd try to get the foil on the window tonight.  It's on one of our bedroom windows but I accidentally tore the foil on the other one so I pulled it off.  When I hung up I asked my mom if she had any duct tape.  I like to use duct tape to go around the outter edge of the foil because it keeps it secure to the window and peels off easily later.  She said she had some in the bottom drawer.

Ok, good.  Don't have to stop at Meijer and drag Sami in just to buy a roll of duct tape. 

This is leading to something, I' promise.  So I go to leave and I'm putting a couple things in a walmart bag.  Mom, Dad, Tina and I are all standing in the kitchen and mom pulls out the duct tape but tries to hide it.  I'm taking it from her to put in the bag I'm holding and my dad get's extremely pissed off.

Do you remember what I've said about my dad being super weird about his stuff?  Because my dad's stuff, I don't care what it is, is somehow more valuable and more important than anyone else's stuff.  And he's selfish so he doesn't want to give up any of his stuff.  Even 10 feet of duct tape, that he didn't even buy.

So he's giving my mom the stink eye and goes out the back door to the garage to smoke and pout.  I'm like, "what's his problem?"  Mom tells me, "it's not that he minds you using it, he's just worried about getting it back."  A $3.00 roll of duct tape?  Are you fucking kidding me?  To begin with, it was a roll that my mom bought to replace a roll of Tina's duct tape that she'd used on her dryer duct.

I'm like, you're kidding me.  Then my mom, in her infinite wisdom, tells me that he's just worried about it being there the next time he goes to use it.  Excuse me?  Lets just get this clear, if my dad can't roll it, light it, and smoke it....he won't use it.  If anyone in that house could tell me the last time that my dad used a scrap of duct tape to fix anything I'd give them a million bucks. 

Let me point out the above statement again.  The roll was one that my MOM had bought to replace the roll that my MOM borrowed from Tina.  My MOM had used the roll to secure the vent on her dryer.

My dad doesn't do a fucking thing around his house.  I take that back, I think he mows the lawn.  When my mom wanted a garbage disposal, she put the damn thing in.  When she wanted a dishwasher, she used a saw to cut out the cupboard and she installed all the water lines and drain pipe herself.  When the thingy inside the toilet stops working, she is the one who replaces the guts to make it flush again.  When the damn wax ring under the toilet needs to be replaced, who do you think does it? 

So for my dad to stand there and be pissed off and worried about that roll of duct tape is so fricking ridiculous.  I already know what is going to happen.  I'll give it about 24 hours and he'll make my mom call down here and ask if I'm done with that roll of duct tape.  Not kidding you, he's done it before.  Seriously, that's why I never ask them for anything.  I don't even know why I thought to ask to use some duct tape.  I was on the phone with Scott, and it just popped out of my mouth because I didn't want to stop at Meijer.

I'm very positive that I've talked about this type of thing before.  Why a parent wouldn't do anything they could for their kid.  I know when I first met Scott, and I think I already wrote about this, it was a big joke at his mom's house.  He'd go to Ohio to visit and a week later she would realize he'd taken something home with him.  She was telling me how he'd called and invited her up for a visit.  When she showed up he was standing there with a roll of wallpaper.  She ended up spending the weekend putting wallpaper up in his kitchen, lol.

Because that's what parent's do. 

My kids will never owe me back the hundred bucks they needed to borrow for a short week or something they need for their kids.  If they call me in the middle of the night and need a gallon of milk for the baby, guess what I'll be doing?  If I have some thing they need, it's theirs.  That's how it's supposed to work.

Remember the very early episodes of Friends when Rachel had all her dad's credit cards?  Then throughout the years of episodes he was there for anything she needed.  I know, it's TV....but it really is that way for some people.

My friend Kathie, she has parents who do anything for her.  They shop for her, pick her kids up from school, wrap Christmas presents, run kids to practice and ball games.  They are at her beck and call.  They still have a life, but you know what I mean.  They are parents and they dote on their grandkids.  She works alot of hours and she couldn't do what she does without the help of her parents.

For me, that help just doesn't exist.  I'm on my own and I guess I've gotten used to it.  I depend on Scott and I depend on my kids.  Jourdan especially.  She helps me so much.  She is like a little mom to John and Sam.  She takes such good care of them and I'm so thankful that she is like me.  She can be a stinker, but she has alot of responsibility around here helping me and she never asks for anything.  She's a good kid. 

I know that I'm a better parent for the things I've experienced in my life.  I'm trying really hard to look at myself and not base my judgment on the opinion of others.  Like Scott's sister.  She's a bitch!  Scott told me long ago that she is a mean-hearted miserable person who's unhappy with her life and that's why she attacked me.  Beth told me the same thing.  But this time it sunk in.  Finally, after four years I can let go of it.

So that's my story for tonight.  To some it might look like I spoil my kids.  They really aren't spoiled too much....maybe a little.  But, they are good kids and when they grow up and get married and have kids of their own I am going to be a FANTASTIC grandma.  My kids will know that they can count on me, I promise not to be intrusive, but when they need me I'll be there.