I opened up my Blog page tonight thinking I had some great things to say and now I've started over three or four times......that tells me that I don't have much to say. Well, I always have alot to say but I feel like I don't have anything interesting to say. I will ramble on and bitch about something......some things never change huh?
The kids have been sick all week. Jourdan and John are feeling better and Sami still doesn't feel that great. So it's been a long week! I've been working on a tax return that has taken me a couple weeks to get done. It's a personal, business, and then ammended returns from 2008. Between the kids being sick and doing taxes I haven't had time for anything else.
I feel bad, I haven't been a good friend lately. I'm sure my friends think I'm a procrastinator. It's not always the case. I just have too many irons in the fire. Sometimes by the time I get home from work and I get dinner around, Johns reading, and baths and showers....I'm too damn tired for anything else.
So Kathie asked me to do a favor for her weeks ago. She needed two pairs of pants shortened. Not a big deal, probably take me 30 minutes. There they still are on my table downstairs. Last Saturday she brought her boots and I measured them, and then haven't touched them again. I'm so damn tired by the end of the day, every single day, that I don't have the energy to go downstairs and take 30 mintues to do a favor for my friend. She always does nice things for me and I'm an ass.
I intend to have them done for her tomorrow. We are taking the kids to lunch and I'm not going to not have them done when she comes over.
And, if you read my post....well it was a couple posts ago. I was writing about Jason and how he's having a really hard time about breaking up with his girlfriend. I have been friends with her mom for a really long time and we haven't spoken in over a week. It makes me really sad. I want to support Jason and I feel terrible when he comes home from school and tells me what's going on and the gossip that he's hearing. He still feels bad, he is still hurting and I don't know how to make it better. I know that a parent can't take away heartache....but we sure do share it with our children.
So, in my post I was pretty hard on my friend. I feel bad about it and have even thought about deleting the post. Then I think about what Jason is telling me that is going on at school.....I just don't know. I know it looks like I'm writing in code here but I guess I'm just trying to make myself feel better! It sucks when your kids are hurting and feeling bad. I guess it's a part of growing up and learning how to deal with people.
You know, that's a great point right there. Back when I was 18 and I was in college I was thinking that I was an adult. Oh, I was a big shot and I got engaged and then when I was 19 I got married. Wow, I was married and my friends were getting married....I was all grown up.
My 20's turned out to be the biggest learning experience of my life so far. I had a terrible marriage with a verbally abusive husband who couldn't control his temper. I had two kids. Paul and I broke up and got back together several times. I lived in an apartment for a year and then went back to him for a year and a half only to leave again not long after Jourdan was born. I remember the first night in my apartment, I didn't even have beds yet, I laid there crying and wondering if I had made the right choice?
Well, I did. If I hadn't left then I probably would have left when I met Scott. I fell in love with him the second I laid eyes on him! That's no lie.
Anyhow, what I learned about life and marriage in my 20's definitely helped me grow up. I think when I hit 30 I finally felt "grown up". I learned how to pick my battles and to have a healthy relationship. Of course, it helps to have a great guy. Thank God I have Scott, I'm so thankful for him every day I can't even describe it. And my 30's were so much happier than my 20's.
Don't fool yourself, your 30's will go by fast, especially if you have kids. I don't know where the time has gone. Don't let it slip through your fingers. Take time to enjoy your kids because soon they turn into teenagers and they aren't as enjoyable! LOL Just kidding! ;)
Jason is going to graduate in a couple of months. I can't even believe it....I know I keep saying that right? I'm a broken record, what can I say. Regardless of how old he is, I still worry about him and I worry about how he's dealing with a break-up. It's not going away very fast for him, it's a long and slow process. I keep telling him I know how he's feeling. My very first serious boyfriend broke up with me and broke my heart. I thought I would die from a broken heart. It makes me so sad that this has happened to Jason but I keep telling him that he will find another hot girl and that will help him get over her. He just laughs and says that I'm right.
Well, like I already said...a bunch of rambling. Sorry. Just mindless typing of my random thoughts tonight. It was either that or bitch about the Democrats. I didn't want to give myself a headache, lol. I got totally off the topic of friendship. Didn't mean to. I know I've been a shitty friend sometimes and I don't do it deliberately. I just have to learn to do as I say I will.
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