It's hard to believe it's been so long since I've posted anything....but that's how I roll. It's been about a year. So much has happened in a year. Some good, and some not so good. I'll get to that in a minute.
If you've ever ready anything here before, you know that over the years I've talked about dieting, my kids, my husband, my job. It started out as a way for me to talk about the struggles a mom faces every day. I focused alot on weight loss. UGH! My weight!!! Something I've struggled with my entire life. My weight goes up and my weight goes down. I'm a stress eater, I'm an emotional eater. If it gets REALLY bad, I don't eat at all and my weight goes down. A vicious cycle that many women know all too well.
So, where the heck have I been this past year? Well, I went back to work part-time to help my family out financially. During that time my husband and I went through a very traumatic time in our marriage. And when I say traumatic, it was traumatic to me. We are in our 40's and we were coming up on our 12 year wedding anniversary. To me, it felt like this came out of nowhere. A brick in the face. My normally happy and loving husband asked for a separation. I have to say.....I was so stunned that I thought he was messing with me. Things had been on edge for several weeks between us. I'm not sure how it got so bad so fast. I always felt like my husband and I were lucky because after so many years together, we still liked each other and enjoyed spending time together.
All of that changed in the spring of 2013. A friend suggested to me that I should be writing about it here. To talk out what I was going through and maybe get help from my readers, or help someone else that was going through the same thing I was. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. My heart was in so much pain that the only reason I even got out of bed every day was to take care of my kids. I turned to prayer. It was the ONLY way I could function. I was working part-time but looking back, I wasn't giving my employer my best. In fact, my boss offered me a leave from the office and I should have taken it.
If you have ever been through something like this, I know you can understand. I suspected there was someone else in the picture. And when a women gets this idea in her head, we turn into a Bloodhound. We are going to find out exactly what is going on. I still struggle with this scenario so I don't want to talk about it here.
It's amazing what happens to a woman when something like this happens. I was in such shock over my husbands declaration that he didn't love me anymore that I didn't even know what to do. I stopped eating. Some days, I didn't eat a single thing. All the other days, I would force myself to eat a little bit of something at dinner time. I am diabetic and I know this was making me even more sick. I lost 30 pounds during a couple of months time. I was struggling from headaches, being light-headed, nausea,vomiting, insomnia, and memory loss. My sugar levels were so out of whack that I passed out a few times, thankfully at home. I was a mess. I couldn't fathom the thought of never hugging my husband or not being able to tell him that I loved him. I couldn't imagine going the rest of my life without making love to him. I couldn't imagine what would happen when he started a new relationship with someone new when I loved him so much.
I know I'm skipping alot of the details here, they are still very painful for me. The relationship between my husband and I became so bad that he took a vacation by himself over Labor Day. It was the last straw for me. He had become so verbally and emotionally abusive that I just couldn't deal with it anymore. And while he was gone, he crossed a line that I couldn't deal with anymore. No, it's not what you are thinking, he didn't have another woman with him. But he did do something that I just decided was too much, and while he was gone I stayed up the entire night and packed every one of his belongings and put it at the front door for him. My heart hurt so badly for so long that I'd become numb. I didn't want to live like this anymore. I couldn't believe I'd made the decision to pack him up. I just couldn't believe it. But he had completely shut down, would go days without speaking to me, he was trying to find a place to rent anyways. I'd just had enough.
Today, my husband and I are still married. Happily married. How'd we get here? Well, my husband returned home from his trip and saw everything he owned sitting there packed up in our entryway. I know he was very surprised. My therapist told me he was going through a mid-life crisis. You're darn right he was and he almost destroyed his family. But when he came home and saw everything sitting there, he finally spoke to me. We argued, of course and it was ugly. I told him what I expected from him in marriage and that I was ready for him to go. At this point, I'd met with an attorney but had been sitting on it because I didn't want a divorce, but I wasn't going to be raked over the coals like I did in my first marriage.
I had no idea what would happen. I went to bed knowing that the next day he would be gone. I don't even know if I slept. He was pretty much living on the lower level of our home, and I didn't see him again until the next day. And it was like a light switch went on in him. Suddenly, my husband came back. He was friendly, engaged with the kids and me, and no more moody silence. I wasn't sure of what to make of it, I wanted things to be right between us. Each day got a little better for us, and eventually he moved back upstairs into our bedroom.
For months I felt like I was walking on egg shells. I didn't want to do anything wrong or disagree with him for fear of going back to where we were for the last 6 months. That would be like a knife in my heart. So, I tiptoed around for months and months. I tried to keep my mood positive, I didn't complain about what he wanted to watch on TV, I let him choose what we had for dinner. In a nutshell, I was kissing his ass full-time.
We finally got through the holiday's and I began to feel more secure in our marriage. I stopped walking on eggshells and I finally started giving my opinion. I remain positive. After all who wants to be around a chronic negative person. And it's made me feel better. Through this entire ordeal, I relied on prayer. It was what got me through the pain and heartache. I realized how powerful prayer is and that God does hear our prayers. As bad as it was in our marriage, I am convinced that God intervened in our marriage and worked on us both. And this is why we were able to work through our problems and get back to a happy marriage.
My husband and I are stronger than ever in our marriage. I often pray for guidance to give us each what we need to be happy in our marriage. And I pray for the ability to forgive. My husband made alot of mistakes during this time in our marriage, but I did too. I've realized that sometimes I need to pick my battles, and look to myself for change. You can't change a man. You just can't. So I had to change some things inside myself so I wasn't making him crazy....or myself.
That brings us to today. I have a great new topic that I'll be writing about and can't wait to share the details. I'll be working on shortly. Thanks for stopping by.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Saturday, February 16, 2013
A Helping Hand? No Thanks, I'm All Set
I know I frustrate my husband. I'm one of these people that find it hard to accept help when I feel like I can do something for myself. I've been struggling with this the last couple of weeks and I'm trying to figure out how I can break myself of this....I'll call it a habit!
A couple years ago I fell down our basement steps and injured my back and neck and I've had issues off and on ever since then. Every few months I would have a flare up with my neck and with the help of my chiropractor I would eventually get better. Well, last summer it happened again. I simply slept wrong on my side and it got my neck fired up. I had a pinched nerve in my neck and it was sending pain down my right arm. I made several trips to the chirpractor but it just got worse with each visit. I got to the point that I was in so much pain that I would break out in a sweat...and even vomit because of the pain.
Well, I had to break down and see my family doctor. Two days later I had an MRI and was told that my C5, C6, and C7 discs were ruptured. Well, it was pinching a nerve that went down my arm so I was in terrible pain in my neck, my shoulder, my arm and my hand. I even had pain that was reaching down into my chest. I was MISERABLE. I didn't want surgery so I was sent to PT. Well, after four months of that I was a little better but not cured. It simply relieved some of my symptoms so I could function but I was still taking alot of pain medication. And I don't like to take pills, I hear way too many horror stories about becoming addicted to pain pills and about the tylenol in them destroying your liver.
I finally broke down and agreed to see a surgeon. I went on a Wednesday and on Friday I was at Metro Health hospital having surgery.
When I woke up from the surgery the pain in my shoulder blade, shoulder, arm, and chest was gone. I had alot of pain from the surgery of course, but it was shocking to me at the relief I felt after my nerve was unpinched. If you know anything about this type of surgery then you know they go in through the front of your throat, which for the first week and a half was the most painful area for me. I have about a 3 1/2 inch incision on the right front of my neck. They have to do alot of rooting and moving things around in there so it's been rather painful during recovery.
To repair the discs they actually cut a portion of my 3 discs out and replace it with donor bone. It's put in place with a set of titanium brackets and 4 screws in each vertabra. So, the back of the neck is incredibly sore as well. I have a neck brace and was told to wear it 3 weeks. The new bone has to fuse of course and everything is swollen and sore.
Here is where things get sticky. I was told not to drive for 2 weeks, but I have 3 kids at home. We do school of choice so I have to transport the kids everyday to and from school. My little one has a cooking class on Fridays too. So, I can't NOT drive for 2 weeks.
I have wonderful friends. Friends who called or text me every day after my surgery to check on me and make sure I had what I needed. They brought meals to my house so I wouldn't have to worry about dinner for my family and asked me each night if I needed them to get my kids to and from school. These amazing friends of mine wanted to help take care of me and my family. So, why couldn't I let them?
My husband is not a lazy kind of guy. While I was in the hospital he cleaned the carpet for me in the livingroom. I came home and the house was spotless. My husband and my daughter are completely capable and willing to help me out around the house. So, why couldn't I let them?
When I was in the hospital a nurse had asked me how well I handle pain. My sister happened to be in there at the time and she made a comment basically saying that I was a wimp when it comes to pain. Now, I'm not getting after her for saying that.....not at all. In the past I was like that. But as I've grown older and had to deal with surgery situations while taking care of kids and house....I think I've just learned how to suck it up and deal with it. I had my youngest by C-section and the day after I got home from the hospital I was driving my son to school. I spent a couple of days in the recliner relaxing but then it was back to normal with housework and such.
Last year I had a hysterectomy and I was down for about 5 days but after that it was business as usual. That's major surgery that put's women out of work for 6 weeks. My mom was off 6 weeks and milked it for everything she could. I guess I'm getting at the fact that I had too much to do to be down and out after surgery. In my sister's defense, she hasn't seen me like this before so I wasn't offended when she said it. Because at one time it was true.
Now I sit here with my neck surgery, just 14 days ago, and I'm business as usual. So I'm miserable and in pain. My house is clean and the dishes are done, but I'm miserable and in pain. No milking the surgery for me. I think way back I might have wanted sympathy from my ex when I was in pain but that's just because he was an ass. I just don't feel that way anymore. I know I can write it here because none of my friends who live really close are going to read this.
You'll notice when I was explaining all of this I didn't say that my parents called to check on me, ask how I was doing or did I need anything? I would ask my mom for help. I WOULD! It's different for family and my sister did help me alot. She took my youngest the day I had surgery, brought them to the hospital to see me, ran my kids all over the country side! I appreciated that and I would do the same for her. Matter of fact, I would do the same for any of my friends, but that's a different story. My mom did call once during the week after my surgery to ask how I was doing. I don't know, I guess I'm just a different kind of mom. It makes no sense to me that they wouldn't call and ask if I needed help with anything or with the kids.
Now that I have it all in writing, I can see my answer forming on the page. I've pretty much just had me to depend on for most of my life so it's hard for me to put someone out. Even when they want to help. I would think nothing of a friend calling me and asking for help, yet I'm not willing to let my friends help. That bothers me. It's actually kind of rude the way I've been. But I'm not used to anyone giving a crap. And I know I do it to my husband too. I CAN depend on him and he's nothing like anyone in my past but it's been hard for me to rely on him even around the house.
So I'm wondering how to break this cycle. It hurts my feelings that my parents haven't really called me or offered me help with my house or kids. Mostly that I don't get the check-up call. Good heavens, I do that with my oldest son and he's a 20 year old....but I still call and check on him and do odds and ends to help him out. So what do you think? Is there hope for me?
Until next time, thanks for lending your ear.
A couple years ago I fell down our basement steps and injured my back and neck and I've had issues off and on ever since then. Every few months I would have a flare up with my neck and with the help of my chiropractor I would eventually get better. Well, last summer it happened again. I simply slept wrong on my side and it got my neck fired up. I had a pinched nerve in my neck and it was sending pain down my right arm. I made several trips to the chirpractor but it just got worse with each visit. I got to the point that I was in so much pain that I would break out in a sweat...and even vomit because of the pain.
Well, I had to break down and see my family doctor. Two days later I had an MRI and was told that my C5, C6, and C7 discs were ruptured. Well, it was pinching a nerve that went down my arm so I was in terrible pain in my neck, my shoulder, my arm and my hand. I even had pain that was reaching down into my chest. I was MISERABLE. I didn't want surgery so I was sent to PT. Well, after four months of that I was a little better but not cured. It simply relieved some of my symptoms so I could function but I was still taking alot of pain medication. And I don't like to take pills, I hear way too many horror stories about becoming addicted to pain pills and about the tylenol in them destroying your liver.
I finally broke down and agreed to see a surgeon. I went on a Wednesday and on Friday I was at Metro Health hospital having surgery.
When I woke up from the surgery the pain in my shoulder blade, shoulder, arm, and chest was gone. I had alot of pain from the surgery of course, but it was shocking to me at the relief I felt after my nerve was unpinched. If you know anything about this type of surgery then you know they go in through the front of your throat, which for the first week and a half was the most painful area for me. I have about a 3 1/2 inch incision on the right front of my neck. They have to do alot of rooting and moving things around in there so it's been rather painful during recovery.
To repair the discs they actually cut a portion of my 3 discs out and replace it with donor bone. It's put in place with a set of titanium brackets and 4 screws in each vertabra. So, the back of the neck is incredibly sore as well. I have a neck brace and was told to wear it 3 weeks. The new bone has to fuse of course and everything is swollen and sore.
Here is where things get sticky. I was told not to drive for 2 weeks, but I have 3 kids at home. We do school of choice so I have to transport the kids everyday to and from school. My little one has a cooking class on Fridays too. So, I can't NOT drive for 2 weeks.
I have wonderful friends. Friends who called or text me every day after my surgery to check on me and make sure I had what I needed. They brought meals to my house so I wouldn't have to worry about dinner for my family and asked me each night if I needed them to get my kids to and from school. These amazing friends of mine wanted to help take care of me and my family. So, why couldn't I let them?
My husband is not a lazy kind of guy. While I was in the hospital he cleaned the carpet for me in the livingroom. I came home and the house was spotless. My husband and my daughter are completely capable and willing to help me out around the house. So, why couldn't I let them?
When I was in the hospital a nurse had asked me how well I handle pain. My sister happened to be in there at the time and she made a comment basically saying that I was a wimp when it comes to pain. Now, I'm not getting after her for saying that.....not at all. In the past I was like that. But as I've grown older and had to deal with surgery situations while taking care of kids and house....I think I've just learned how to suck it up and deal with it. I had my youngest by C-section and the day after I got home from the hospital I was driving my son to school. I spent a couple of days in the recliner relaxing but then it was back to normal with housework and such.
Last year I had a hysterectomy and I was down for about 5 days but after that it was business as usual. That's major surgery that put's women out of work for 6 weeks. My mom was off 6 weeks and milked it for everything she could. I guess I'm getting at the fact that I had too much to do to be down and out after surgery. In my sister's defense, she hasn't seen me like this before so I wasn't offended when she said it. Because at one time it was true.
Now I sit here with my neck surgery, just 14 days ago, and I'm business as usual. So I'm miserable and in pain. My house is clean and the dishes are done, but I'm miserable and in pain. No milking the surgery for me. I think way back I might have wanted sympathy from my ex when I was in pain but that's just because he was an ass. I just don't feel that way anymore. I know I can write it here because none of my friends who live really close are going to read this.
You'll notice when I was explaining all of this I didn't say that my parents called to check on me, ask how I was doing or did I need anything? I would ask my mom for help. I WOULD! It's different for family and my sister did help me alot. She took my youngest the day I had surgery, brought them to the hospital to see me, ran my kids all over the country side! I appreciated that and I would do the same for her. Matter of fact, I would do the same for any of my friends, but that's a different story. My mom did call once during the week after my surgery to ask how I was doing. I don't know, I guess I'm just a different kind of mom. It makes no sense to me that they wouldn't call and ask if I needed help with anything or with the kids.
Now that I have it all in writing, I can see my answer forming on the page. I've pretty much just had me to depend on for most of my life so it's hard for me to put someone out. Even when they want to help. I would think nothing of a friend calling me and asking for help, yet I'm not willing to let my friends help. That bothers me. It's actually kind of rude the way I've been. But I'm not used to anyone giving a crap. And I know I do it to my husband too. I CAN depend on him and he's nothing like anyone in my past but it's been hard for me to rely on him even around the house.
So I'm wondering how to break this cycle. It hurts my feelings that my parents haven't really called me or offered me help with my house or kids. Mostly that I don't get the check-up call. Good heavens, I do that with my oldest son and he's a 20 year old....but I still call and check on him and do odds and ends to help him out. So what do you think? Is there hope for me?
Until next time, thanks for lending your ear.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
I have the Winter Blah....But Valentines Day is Here!
It seems like winter lasts forever in Michigan. We can go days....sometimes even weeks....without seeing the sun. Today is Valentines Day, and the sun is shining. I'm sitting here at the kitchen table looking out the window into my backyard. It's a large yard covered in a clean layer of white snow, glistening in the sunlight and my dreams of an early spring....well they are hanging heavy on me. My husband just mentioned yesterday that experts are calling for a "warmer than normal" March and that is very exciting to me. Last year we had a 2 or 3 week period that was so warm that I wore shorts! Keeping my fingers crossed.
My kids are excited about it being Valentines Day. They filled out their Valentine cards this week and they are excited to pass them out at school parties today. I usually get the kids a little treat or a small gift for Valentines Day. My son asked me for a box of Altoids.....ok, he's weird, lol. Last year it was a chocolate fish that he wanted. I aim to please.
The best part for me on Valentines Day.......is DATE NIGHT!!!! Married, 4 kids, 2 digs, big house to manage and keep clean and organized....there aren't too many date nights these days. Who has the energy? My husband works crazy early hours so by 7:30 p.m. he's headed off to bed and I'm still up dealing with snacks, showers, brushing teeth and story time. But I can always count on Valentines Day for a really great date with my hubby. I like to get flowers, not really that big on the chocolates anymore, but just knowing that I get my husband all to myself for a while tonight is making this day wonderful.
I was listening to the radio this morning and they were talking about the ways that Valentines Day is special to each of them. One said it was more of a romantic day for couples and the other said that it was more of a family day for her. I really liked that because she explained that it used to be about sharing love as a couple, then when they had their children they are the loves of their lives. So, they celebrate Valentines Day as a family. That spoke to me because I wasn't raised that way. It was really more about a romantic couple kind of day, but really it's about celebrating the love you have for others in your life. So, while I'm excited about my date with my hubby tonight, it was a nice reminder that Valentines Day is about so much more than that.
I have two friends who own a local flower shop and I've helped them out a little bit here and there to get ready for the big day. I love walking into their flower shop. The smell of roses, tulips, and hyacinth greet you at the door. There are flowers of every color in every direction. What a lovely way to spend the day. So, I'm off to help a lending hand. I noticed on my way through town this morning that they opened early today. They have everything that every husband, boyfriend, or dad would need for their special someone today.
I hope your day is wonderful. Share the love with all your loved ones. Life is so short so don't take a minute for granted.
Happy Valentines Day
My kids are excited about it being Valentines Day. They filled out their Valentine cards this week and they are excited to pass them out at school parties today. I usually get the kids a little treat or a small gift for Valentines Day. My son asked me for a box of Altoids.....ok, he's weird, lol. Last year it was a chocolate fish that he wanted. I aim to please.
The best part for me on Valentines Day.......is DATE NIGHT!!!! Married, 4 kids, 2 digs, big house to manage and keep clean and organized....there aren't too many date nights these days. Who has the energy? My husband works crazy early hours so by 7:30 p.m. he's headed off to bed and I'm still up dealing with snacks, showers, brushing teeth and story time. But I can always count on Valentines Day for a really great date with my hubby. I like to get flowers, not really that big on the chocolates anymore, but just knowing that I get my husband all to myself for a while tonight is making this day wonderful.
I was listening to the radio this morning and they were talking about the ways that Valentines Day is special to each of them. One said it was more of a romantic day for couples and the other said that it was more of a family day for her. I really liked that because she explained that it used to be about sharing love as a couple, then when they had their children they are the loves of their lives. So, they celebrate Valentines Day as a family. That spoke to me because I wasn't raised that way. It was really more about a romantic couple kind of day, but really it's about celebrating the love you have for others in your life. So, while I'm excited about my date with my hubby tonight, it was a nice reminder that Valentines Day is about so much more than that.
I have two friends who own a local flower shop and I've helped them out a little bit here and there to get ready for the big day. I love walking into their flower shop. The smell of roses, tulips, and hyacinth greet you at the door. There are flowers of every color in every direction. What a lovely way to spend the day. So, I'm off to help a lending hand. I noticed on my way through town this morning that they opened early today. They have everything that every husband, boyfriend, or dad would need for their special someone today.
I hope your day is wonderful. Share the love with all your loved ones. Life is so short so don't take a minute for granted.
Happy Valentines Day
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Out With The Bad....In With The Good
I have diabetes! I have diabetes! I. Have. Diabetes.
If you saw me across the street or at the mall you'd never know that I was so sick on the inside. It's so frustrating to look in the mirror and think that I have so much going on inside of me. I feel normal. I don't feel like my liver enzymes are high or that I'm having weird numbers on my blood work for my pancreas. I don't feel like my kidneys are kicking out sugar. I just want to eat what I want to eat and keep doing what I've been doing since January....and keep losing weight. I have 15 or 20 pounds to go!
I think I would have an easier time making the changes in my life if I felt this HUGE change for the better. Sounds reasonable right? Last December I went to see my doctor because I was feeling like hell. I was tired, exhausted like I cannot even begin to describe. I remember thinking that I could barely function enough to clean my house, grocery shop, and run my kids all over the countryside. It wasn't the kind of tired where I slept all the time, because I wasn't sleeping. I had to take medication at night to be able to sleep. It was the feeling of having zero energy and I was faced with all the tasks of being a housewife and mom. It was incredibly frustrating.
It was the beginning of my journey, to find out that I was in fact sick. Honestly, I thought I had a thyroid issue. I know it can be hereditary and my Grandma was on medication most of her adult life for thyroid problems. But my thyroid was just inside of normal....so that didn't answer my question. My thoughts went on to my blood pressure. It was high and my pulse at rest was well over 100. That needed to drop 20 points....so more medication! I was told that my sugar was a little high so I had to come back in 3 months for more blood work.
I started walking and working out, and eventually went on to Zumba. I started losing weight but I still felt like crap. I just had no energy and generally didn't feel good.
Here we are 7 months later and I now know that the problem was diabetes. So back to my earlier thoughts....about making a huge change in my life....after 8 months of feeling like crap I think it became normal for me. Being tired, not feeling good, not sleeping....it became my normal. How is a person supposed to make these big changes to their lifestyle when the feeling of ick has become normal?
I started out on an oral medication but my numbers were still nearly 400. So you know, normal numbers would be: fasting/first thing in the morning my glucose number should be 70-110. When I test my blood right before a meal it should be 70-120 and 2 hours after I eat it should be 70-160. So, 300 or even 400 aren't good! As a matter of fact when you start getting into those 400 numbers you put yourself at higher risk for stroke or heart attack.
Hello! That's not a good enough reason to get your shit together?
My doctor set me up with Diabetes classes through our hospital. It's 6 weeks long and it really has helped me to know what my numbers should be, how I should be eating, and to understand how serious diabetes is. (So why am I all of the sudden craving an ice cold can of Coke?) The RN running the class got me onto Byetta, which is lowering my blood sugar. I'm at least running in the high 100's to low 200's. Much better than I was...it's dropped 150 to 200 points so I'm getting to a safer level. If I could get my eating right, I'd be in target.
But that goes back to my original problem. I feel like shit, but it's become so normal to me that I don't feel like I'm sick. What will one hershey bar do to me? I'll worry about the diabetes tomorrow because I can't feel my pancreas, liver, and kidneys shouting at me. We got a meal plan flyer to follow from the diabetes class. It's not a specific diet, but a list of foods, their carbs translated into a point system, and a plan for each days carb limits. I can look up any food and determine the number of points to count toward my carbs for that snack or meal. There are free foods that don't count, but it's a constant checking and measuring type of thing that I don't like. It's probably why I've never really been very successful at dieting. I can't stand all the work to prepare meals and such....even worse I have to do this at the grocery store. I have to check my charts before I buy something because I don't know if I can have it. Ugh!
So I'm sitting here wondering how I can make this big lifestyle change with my food. I've lost weight because I've cut back. That doesn't mean that I have avoided sugar. Well, since I was diagnosed with diabetes I've really tried to avoid it. I'm not sure how I can force myself to be more careful with the food when I'm not feeling like it will make a difference. Oh, the nurse in the diabetes class expained it all and scared me...terribly. Some really terrible stuff can happen to you if you ignore your diabetes. I just don't know why I'm being so stubborn about it.
Maybe I've forgotten what it feels like to feel good. I've been thinking about that for the last couple of weeks. People ask me if I'm feeling better now that I'm taking medication and giving myself 2 shots a day? No, not really. I think that I would if I could get my eating squared away. I'm not eating alot, the shot I take makes me feel full very quickly. I think the bread is my downfall. I could live on bread. It's hard for me to give up. How am I going to give up bread.....and pasta?
So, that's my dilema. I don't know what the answer is yet. I'm working on it. I keep trying to scare myself into submission....not working yet. My husband isn't really being supportive on this either. I think he is doing what I described above, I don't look sick on the outside so he doesn't understand how lousy I feel. Well, that's a whole other topic for a whole other day.
I've just started reading the "Fifty Shades" books. I'm on book 2 and I'm curious to get back to Mr. Grey and Miss Steele...so until next time...
If you saw me across the street or at the mall you'd never know that I was so sick on the inside. It's so frustrating to look in the mirror and think that I have so much going on inside of me. I feel normal. I don't feel like my liver enzymes are high or that I'm having weird numbers on my blood work for my pancreas. I don't feel like my kidneys are kicking out sugar. I just want to eat what I want to eat and keep doing what I've been doing since January....and keep losing weight. I have 15 or 20 pounds to go!
I think I would have an easier time making the changes in my life if I felt this HUGE change for the better. Sounds reasonable right? Last December I went to see my doctor because I was feeling like hell. I was tired, exhausted like I cannot even begin to describe. I remember thinking that I could barely function enough to clean my house, grocery shop, and run my kids all over the countryside. It wasn't the kind of tired where I slept all the time, because I wasn't sleeping. I had to take medication at night to be able to sleep. It was the feeling of having zero energy and I was faced with all the tasks of being a housewife and mom. It was incredibly frustrating.
It was the beginning of my journey, to find out that I was in fact sick. Honestly, I thought I had a thyroid issue. I know it can be hereditary and my Grandma was on medication most of her adult life for thyroid problems. But my thyroid was just inside of normal....so that didn't answer my question. My thoughts went on to my blood pressure. It was high and my pulse at rest was well over 100. That needed to drop 20 points....so more medication! I was told that my sugar was a little high so I had to come back in 3 months for more blood work.
I started walking and working out, and eventually went on to Zumba. I started losing weight but I still felt like crap. I just had no energy and generally didn't feel good.
Here we are 7 months later and I now know that the problem was diabetes. So back to my earlier thoughts....about making a huge change in my life....after 8 months of feeling like crap I think it became normal for me. Being tired, not feeling good, not sleeping....it became my normal. How is a person supposed to make these big changes to their lifestyle when the feeling of ick has become normal?
I started out on an oral medication but my numbers were still nearly 400. So you know, normal numbers would be: fasting/first thing in the morning my glucose number should be 70-110. When I test my blood right before a meal it should be 70-120 and 2 hours after I eat it should be 70-160. So, 300 or even 400 aren't good! As a matter of fact when you start getting into those 400 numbers you put yourself at higher risk for stroke or heart attack.
Hello! That's not a good enough reason to get your shit together?
My doctor set me up with Diabetes classes through our hospital. It's 6 weeks long and it really has helped me to know what my numbers should be, how I should be eating, and to understand how serious diabetes is. (So why am I all of the sudden craving an ice cold can of Coke?) The RN running the class got me onto Byetta, which is lowering my blood sugar. I'm at least running in the high 100's to low 200's. Much better than I was...it's dropped 150 to 200 points so I'm getting to a safer level. If I could get my eating right, I'd be in target.
But that goes back to my original problem. I feel like shit, but it's become so normal to me that I don't feel like I'm sick. What will one hershey bar do to me? I'll worry about the diabetes tomorrow because I can't feel my pancreas, liver, and kidneys shouting at me. We got a meal plan flyer to follow from the diabetes class. It's not a specific diet, but a list of foods, their carbs translated into a point system, and a plan for each days carb limits. I can look up any food and determine the number of points to count toward my carbs for that snack or meal. There are free foods that don't count, but it's a constant checking and measuring type of thing that I don't like. It's probably why I've never really been very successful at dieting. I can't stand all the work to prepare meals and such....even worse I have to do this at the grocery store. I have to check my charts before I buy something because I don't know if I can have it. Ugh!
So I'm sitting here wondering how I can make this big lifestyle change with my food. I've lost weight because I've cut back. That doesn't mean that I have avoided sugar. Well, since I was diagnosed with diabetes I've really tried to avoid it. I'm not sure how I can force myself to be more careful with the food when I'm not feeling like it will make a difference. Oh, the nurse in the diabetes class expained it all and scared me...terribly. Some really terrible stuff can happen to you if you ignore your diabetes. I just don't know why I'm being so stubborn about it.
Maybe I've forgotten what it feels like to feel good. I've been thinking about that for the last couple of weeks. People ask me if I'm feeling better now that I'm taking medication and giving myself 2 shots a day? No, not really. I think that I would if I could get my eating squared away. I'm not eating alot, the shot I take makes me feel full very quickly. I think the bread is my downfall. I could live on bread. It's hard for me to give up. How am I going to give up bread.....and pasta?
So, that's my dilema. I don't know what the answer is yet. I'm working on it. I keep trying to scare myself into submission....not working yet. My husband isn't really being supportive on this either. I think he is doing what I described above, I don't look sick on the outside so he doesn't understand how lousy I feel. Well, that's a whole other topic for a whole other day.
I've just started reading the "Fifty Shades" books. I'm on book 2 and I'm curious to get back to Mr. Grey and Miss Steele...so until next time...
Monday, July 30, 2012
Hand Over That Hershey Bar
I'm sitting here surfing my Dish Network and I'm reminded why I dislike an election year so much. I'm not worried about who I'm voting for, I've already made up my mind. For me, it's time for change because we DID build that! ;)
What I don't like is all the commentary. I happend to flip over to Fox News and O'Reilly is on and they are discussing who Romney's VP choice will be. They are listing the names of several people and their pro's and con's as a choice for Vice President. Boring! It's the same thing when they have Karl Rove on there talking about the electoral votes and how they predict each state will shake out on election day.
It reminds me of football season. We are a football family and we love football season. My husband is on the countdown to football! I love it too, I love college football the most. It's new and exciting every year. And as far as the NFL, I enjoy NFL games but we're Browns fans.....so we suffer. I can watch football all weekend long.....what I hate is all the commentary.
When you start getting into football season, the commentary starts on Monday and they will talk ALL week about the games coming up on the weekend. The weekend goes by and all the games are played, and then on Monday and Tuesday all you hear is commentary on the games that took place on the previous weekend. You get to Wednesday and the commentary changes over to talk and predictions about the upcoming games that coming weekend.
It's a cycle that plays over and over all season long. I keep telling my husband, I love to watch the football games, but the other 5 days of the week all he watches on television is commentary on what players should have done last week and what they need to do next week! By the end of the season, I've worked up a pretty good attitude toward the commentators.
I know, the whole thing is riduculous. What am I complaining about? Well, Bill is 15 minutes into his program and onto his 3rd guest discussing the VP choices! Typically, I would change the channel to Food Network, but I'm struggling with food tonight, and it makes me hungry. Seriously! My body is all screwed up right now with this whole new diabetes issue. I'm not hungry all day and don't want to eat much. 5pm hits and I'm starving! I'm fighting myself to not eat. It's taken me way too much time, and I've put in way too much work to lose this 45 pounds....I don't want to put any of it back on!
My husband got on the treadmill today, I wish that I had. I let the day get away from me. I was pouring vanilla candles and my coffee bean candles, I did some laundry and hung it on the line, and even worked in the garden some. Before I knew it the day was gone. It really ticks me off that I don't get on that treadmil. I haven't been to Zumba in forever. The heat just kicks my behind....I can't handle it. One of the problems with having asthma I guess....but my body just can't handle it. I'm trying to hold steady until I get back to zumba. I'm telling you....losing weight just sucks. No really, it totally sucks.
Imagine the feeling of being able eat anything and anytime I want....without any consequences. No high blood pressure, no high cholesterol, no weight gain. It's so far out of reality I don't even know why I'm thinking it. Well, it's out there for me anyways. I'm 42 years old, I have diabetes, and the reality is that I have to diet and be careful what I eat. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
I think this lack of chocolate is really affecting my mood. :)
Well, I'm off to the land of nod. A busy day tomorrow with a playdate for the kids in the morning! Until next time....
What I don't like is all the commentary. I happend to flip over to Fox News and O'Reilly is on and they are discussing who Romney's VP choice will be. They are listing the names of several people and their pro's and con's as a choice for Vice President. Boring! It's the same thing when they have Karl Rove on there talking about the electoral votes and how they predict each state will shake out on election day.
It reminds me of football season. We are a football family and we love football season. My husband is on the countdown to football! I love it too, I love college football the most. It's new and exciting every year. And as far as the NFL, I enjoy NFL games but we're Browns fans.....so we suffer. I can watch football all weekend long.....what I hate is all the commentary.
When you start getting into football season, the commentary starts on Monday and they will talk ALL week about the games coming up on the weekend. The weekend goes by and all the games are played, and then on Monday and Tuesday all you hear is commentary on the games that took place on the previous weekend. You get to Wednesday and the commentary changes over to talk and predictions about the upcoming games that coming weekend.
It's a cycle that plays over and over all season long. I keep telling my husband, I love to watch the football games, but the other 5 days of the week all he watches on television is commentary on what players should have done last week and what they need to do next week! By the end of the season, I've worked up a pretty good attitude toward the commentators.
I know, the whole thing is riduculous. What am I complaining about? Well, Bill is 15 minutes into his program and onto his 3rd guest discussing the VP choices! Typically, I would change the channel to Food Network, but I'm struggling with food tonight, and it makes me hungry. Seriously! My body is all screwed up right now with this whole new diabetes issue. I'm not hungry all day and don't want to eat much. 5pm hits and I'm starving! I'm fighting myself to not eat. It's taken me way too much time, and I've put in way too much work to lose this 45 pounds....I don't want to put any of it back on!
My husband got on the treadmill today, I wish that I had. I let the day get away from me. I was pouring vanilla candles and my coffee bean candles, I did some laundry and hung it on the line, and even worked in the garden some. Before I knew it the day was gone. It really ticks me off that I don't get on that treadmil. I haven't been to Zumba in forever. The heat just kicks my behind....I can't handle it. One of the problems with having asthma I guess....but my body just can't handle it. I'm trying to hold steady until I get back to zumba. I'm telling you....losing weight just sucks. No really, it totally sucks.
Imagine the feeling of being able eat anything and anytime I want....without any consequences. No high blood pressure, no high cholesterol, no weight gain. It's so far out of reality I don't even know why I'm thinking it. Well, it's out there for me anyways. I'm 42 years old, I have diabetes, and the reality is that I have to diet and be careful what I eat. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
I think this lack of chocolate is really affecting my mood. :)
Well, I'm off to the land of nod. A busy day tomorrow with a playdate for the kids in the morning! Until next time....
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Taking The High Road
It's been so long since I've written...it was January for crying out loud. So much has happened in my life, alot of really big changes! I enjoy writing here, it's so relaxing to me and very therapeutic....yet I find it hard to get to it. It's unfortunate because it's something I enjoy so much.
The last time I wrote, I was talking about losing weight and getting healthier. Losing weight.....the reason I started my blog. To reach out to other mom's who need to lose weight and get on a healthier path.
I'm proud to say that I have now lost a total of 44.5 pounds. I can't even believe that I've lost all that weight. I look in the mirror and I see the same person, but I'm told that's normal. The big difference is in the way my clothes fit. I've had to get rid of all my big clothes because none of them fit me anymore. I've gone down several pants sizes, which is great! All of my dress clothes are way too big so they have been given to Goodwill.
And my husband, he's exactly the same size as he was in January. Go figure, easy off...easy on!
If you've never struggled with your weight, you really can't understand how hard it is to lose it. We don't put the weight on overnight, but once we start to work on ourselves and try to get the extra weight off, it feels like torture. It's hard to lose weight. I've said it again and again.
I'm going to go back a little further. I've made some really positive changes in my life over the last year. I feel like I'm a much happier and more positive person than I used to be, and I could even see the changes when I read back over old posts.
Around Christmas time I had gone to my doctor because I was just feeling really crappy. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I didn't feel good. Well, she had some concerns with my bloodwork, so I went back after 3 months, then again 3 months later. I'm making a point, I promise. I've struggled with high blood pressure for several years and even on my meds, I was having very high blood pressure. Seems like I take a hand full of pills every day for my BP. I thought it was making me feel lousy.
I was wrong, 3 weeks ago I was diagnosed with Diabetes! Most people would say, "oh that's not the end of the world". I'm here to tell you, my doctor has me going to 6 Diabetes classes to learn about the disease and how to treat my body to take care of the diabetes. What it's doing is scaring the hell out of me.
Diabetes if hereditary and my family is full of diabetics. I had no idea how serious it was, or how sick a person is on the inside when they have diabetes. I'm very scared! It it causing problems with my liver and my pancreas. Medication hasn't brought my numbers down so now in addition to oral medication I have to begin 2 injections a day of a second medication.
When my doctor told me I sobbed. I have a needle phobia like you wouldn't believe. Now, I'm having to poke my hand or arm 3 times a day to check my blood-sugar levels. I think that so many years of not taking care of my body has put me in this position. I'm very scared about what could happen. I'm still learning about the disease, I know that it's a progressive disease so I need to take care of it to slow it down. It's very tedious work to count out the carbs for each meal, and measure everything you eat. I still don't have the hang of it because I was standing in my kitchen today feeling dizzy and knew that I was going to pass out. Luckily, Scott was standing right there and kept me from going down on the wood floor. A big eye opener and something scary that I've never experienced before.
So at a time when I thought my life was heading in a certain direction, I've been slapped in the face with a very scary disease. I'm doing my best to learn about it so I'll know how to take care of myself. I've lost alot of weight but still have 20 or 25 pounds to go. I know that I said my goal was 40 pounds, but I also knew that once I lost that I might feel like I needed to lose more.
And thank goodness for my friend and neighbor, Mindy, she has been dragging me out to Zumba! That's what has helped me to lose the weight. It's been terrible how the last few weeks so I haven't been able to Zumba, but as soon as it's back into the 70's....I'm there!
Well, I have so much more to talk about but it's late and my post is already long. I guess I'll be changing the focus of my recipe blog too, in light of my change in diet. I'm not going to let this get me down though, I've worked too hard to take better care of myself! It's just a new chapter of my life that I didn't expect.
Until next time....
The last time I wrote, I was talking about losing weight and getting healthier. Losing weight.....the reason I started my blog. To reach out to other mom's who need to lose weight and get on a healthier path.
I'm proud to say that I have now lost a total of 44.5 pounds. I can't even believe that I've lost all that weight. I look in the mirror and I see the same person, but I'm told that's normal. The big difference is in the way my clothes fit. I've had to get rid of all my big clothes because none of them fit me anymore. I've gone down several pants sizes, which is great! All of my dress clothes are way too big so they have been given to Goodwill.
And my husband, he's exactly the same size as he was in January. Go figure, easy off...easy on!
If you've never struggled with your weight, you really can't understand how hard it is to lose it. We don't put the weight on overnight, but once we start to work on ourselves and try to get the extra weight off, it feels like torture. It's hard to lose weight. I've said it again and again.
I'm going to go back a little further. I've made some really positive changes in my life over the last year. I feel like I'm a much happier and more positive person than I used to be, and I could even see the changes when I read back over old posts.
Around Christmas time I had gone to my doctor because I was just feeling really crappy. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I didn't feel good. Well, she had some concerns with my bloodwork, so I went back after 3 months, then again 3 months later. I'm making a point, I promise. I've struggled with high blood pressure for several years and even on my meds, I was having very high blood pressure. Seems like I take a hand full of pills every day for my BP. I thought it was making me feel lousy.
I was wrong, 3 weeks ago I was diagnosed with Diabetes! Most people would say, "oh that's not the end of the world". I'm here to tell you, my doctor has me going to 6 Diabetes classes to learn about the disease and how to treat my body to take care of the diabetes. What it's doing is scaring the hell out of me.
Diabetes if hereditary and my family is full of diabetics. I had no idea how serious it was, or how sick a person is on the inside when they have diabetes. I'm very scared! It it causing problems with my liver and my pancreas. Medication hasn't brought my numbers down so now in addition to oral medication I have to begin 2 injections a day of a second medication.
When my doctor told me I sobbed. I have a needle phobia like you wouldn't believe. Now, I'm having to poke my hand or arm 3 times a day to check my blood-sugar levels. I think that so many years of not taking care of my body has put me in this position. I'm very scared about what could happen. I'm still learning about the disease, I know that it's a progressive disease so I need to take care of it to slow it down. It's very tedious work to count out the carbs for each meal, and measure everything you eat. I still don't have the hang of it because I was standing in my kitchen today feeling dizzy and knew that I was going to pass out. Luckily, Scott was standing right there and kept me from going down on the wood floor. A big eye opener and something scary that I've never experienced before.
So at a time when I thought my life was heading in a certain direction, I've been slapped in the face with a very scary disease. I'm doing my best to learn about it so I'll know how to take care of myself. I've lost alot of weight but still have 20 or 25 pounds to go. I know that I said my goal was 40 pounds, but I also knew that once I lost that I might feel like I needed to lose more.
And thank goodness for my friend and neighbor, Mindy, she has been dragging me out to Zumba! That's what has helped me to lose the weight. It's been terrible how the last few weeks so I haven't been able to Zumba, but as soon as it's back into the 70's....I'm there!
Well, I have so much more to talk about but it's late and my post is already long. I guess I'll be changing the focus of my recipe blog too, in light of my change in diet. I'm not going to let this get me down though, I've worked too hard to take better care of myself! It's just a new chapter of my life that I didn't expect.
Until next time....
Thursday, January 19, 2012
An Up-hill Battle
Losing weight is definitely an up hill battle. Unless you're a man....then it's more of a small incline. I started dieting 2 1/2 weeks ago and I've lost about 10 pounds and I'm pretty happy with that. Scott has been on the same diet and has lost about 20 pounds. Figures!
I feel like I'm hanging in there. Changing your lifestyle cold turkey can be a really tough thing to do. I'm so used to eating salty and sweet foods. Chocolate can soothe away any of my problems. And after the HUGE sugar overload that happens around the holidays, I feel like I really did quit good food cold turkey.
I'm trying to keep things interesting by recording shows on the DVR. I can watch them while I'm on the treadmill and skip the commercials. I'm wishing it was spring so I could walk outside. The time seems to go alot faster when you're walking outside. I think that boredom is half my battle when it comes to staying on the treadmill for longer periods of time.
Tonight, I was standing in my closet and I started wondering if I could fit into some of my smaller jeans. I've already gone down one pant size and I have a stack of jeans that are the next size down. I decided I was either going to be really happy or I was going to see that I need to work even harder. My jeans went on comfortably and I can easily wear them tomorrow. So, that's 2 jean sizes. YAY!!!!
I was pretty excited. When you look at me, you probably wouldn't notice these 10 or so pounds.....but I notice it when I put my clothes on. I started rummaging through my closet and I pulled out a really fancy silk robe that I've had for years. It's floral and so beautiful. It was so expensive and I saved for a long time to buy it. So there it's been hanging in my closet for more years than I care to admit. For alot of years it was just too tight across my shoulders, but tonight it went on and it was also comfortable.
The last thing I tried on was some pretty dark blue lingerie. It has spaghetti straps and it's the softest silkiest material I've ever had on. I bought it probably two years ago and it's been haning out in my closet ever since. I've never put it on. Well, I did try it on when I bought it but it was snug. Way too snug for me to wear it in front of Scott but I was sure that I was going to lose weight and it would look good on me. Not the case! I put that night gown on tonight and it fit me. I was so happy!
I'm not saying that I look super-good in....well.....anything. But when I put that lingerie on I felt good. I have 30 pounds to go until I'm at my goal weight but at least I know that I can put some of my clothes on and have them fit me.
I think that I was starting to burn out on this diet. I was starting to feel like the weight wasn't coming off fast enough. I know they say you aren't supposed to lose weight super fast, but when you are dieting and working out every day you want the weight to come off fast. Even though it put 10 years to put the weight on. Back to my point.....I was starting to get really tired of the treadmill so I try a few things on out of my closet and it just makes me feel motivated again.
There are things hanging there that are smaller than what I tried on tonight. It makes me want to get into those clothes. I guess I just needed to find what motivates me. I tried to get Scott to put together a reward type of thing for our weight loss. We couldn't really think of anything. I was thinking a new wardrobe if I lost so much weight. Or even a long weekend trip someplace for the two of us. It boiled down to the fact that whatever the reward was, it was going to come out of the same checkbook that I have. I'm too cheap to spend money on me, so I couldn't get motivated by that.
And if I wanted to reward that involves other fun things....well Scott has a habit of not following through with those types of things. Maybe that will be better once we get ourselves in better shape too? :)
I guess I need to just keep reminding myself why I wanted to get healthy in the first place. I'm 42 and I have young kids. Simply put, I want to be around for a long time. I want to see them grow up and I want to see my grandkids (someday) grow up. That's my motivation.
Until next time....
I feel like I'm hanging in there. Changing your lifestyle cold turkey can be a really tough thing to do. I'm so used to eating salty and sweet foods. Chocolate can soothe away any of my problems. And after the HUGE sugar overload that happens around the holidays, I feel like I really did quit good food cold turkey.
I'm trying to keep things interesting by recording shows on the DVR. I can watch them while I'm on the treadmill and skip the commercials. I'm wishing it was spring so I could walk outside. The time seems to go alot faster when you're walking outside. I think that boredom is half my battle when it comes to staying on the treadmill for longer periods of time.
Tonight, I was standing in my closet and I started wondering if I could fit into some of my smaller jeans. I've already gone down one pant size and I have a stack of jeans that are the next size down. I decided I was either going to be really happy or I was going to see that I need to work even harder. My jeans went on comfortably and I can easily wear them tomorrow. So, that's 2 jean sizes. YAY!!!!
I was pretty excited. When you look at me, you probably wouldn't notice these 10 or so pounds.....but I notice it when I put my clothes on. I started rummaging through my closet and I pulled out a really fancy silk robe that I've had for years. It's floral and so beautiful. It was so expensive and I saved for a long time to buy it. So there it's been hanging in my closet for more years than I care to admit. For alot of years it was just too tight across my shoulders, but tonight it went on and it was also comfortable.
The last thing I tried on was some pretty dark blue lingerie. It has spaghetti straps and it's the softest silkiest material I've ever had on. I bought it probably two years ago and it's been haning out in my closet ever since. I've never put it on. Well, I did try it on when I bought it but it was snug. Way too snug for me to wear it in front of Scott but I was sure that I was going to lose weight and it would look good on me. Not the case! I put that night gown on tonight and it fit me. I was so happy!
I'm not saying that I look super-good in....well.....anything. But when I put that lingerie on I felt good. I have 30 pounds to go until I'm at my goal weight but at least I know that I can put some of my clothes on and have them fit me.
I think that I was starting to burn out on this diet. I was starting to feel like the weight wasn't coming off fast enough. I know they say you aren't supposed to lose weight super fast, but when you are dieting and working out every day you want the weight to come off fast. Even though it put 10 years to put the weight on. Back to my point.....I was starting to get really tired of the treadmill so I try a few things on out of my closet and it just makes me feel motivated again.
There are things hanging there that are smaller than what I tried on tonight. It makes me want to get into those clothes. I guess I just needed to find what motivates me. I tried to get Scott to put together a reward type of thing for our weight loss. We couldn't really think of anything. I was thinking a new wardrobe if I lost so much weight. Or even a long weekend trip someplace for the two of us. It boiled down to the fact that whatever the reward was, it was going to come out of the same checkbook that I have. I'm too cheap to spend money on me, so I couldn't get motivated by that.
And if I wanted to reward that involves other fun things....well Scott has a habit of not following through with those types of things. Maybe that will be better once we get ourselves in better shape too? :)
I guess I need to just keep reminding myself why I wanted to get healthy in the first place. I'm 42 and I have young kids. Simply put, I want to be around for a long time. I want to see them grow up and I want to see my grandkids (someday) grow up. That's my motivation.
Until next time....
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Here We Go Again
The holidays are past us and things are getting back to normal. I finally got all of my Christmas decorations taken down and put away. It takes me at least a week to get everything out and put up around the house and then time seems to fly by. I feel like we only have our decorations out for such a short time considering how much it takes to put it all out and then put it all away.
I'm actually not complaining, I enjoy doing it. This has been an odd holiday season. Living in Michigan, we get used to a white Christmas. We didn't have a white Christmas this year. I heard on the news that we've had snow for Christmas 9 out of the last 11 years. I guess we must have lived up north during those few years without snow, because I don't remember a green Christmas in a very long time....more than 11 years.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting here feeling extremely BORED! I let the kids stay home from school yesterday and we went out and about shopping. And I took them for lunch. We really had a great day. None of the kids did any fighting and that's pretty good considering we made 3 stops and were gone for about 4 1/2 hours. We went to Mongolian BBQ for lunch and it totally sucked! And to make it worse, it was $40 for us to eat. It's a buffet for crying out loud and one trip to the buffet for 2 adults and 2 little kids was $40! And the food wasn't that good. So I won't be going back. I have better things to do with my money.
Today is my mom's birthday. We were going to stop and see her and Scott and I ended up having a little "difference of opinion" as he calls it. I call it a fight. I hate fighting with him, even though I had good reason to be mad. It's been a really long time since we had an argument and I could have done without this one.
Our "get healthier" journey is going well. We're only in our first week and Scott has lost 13 pounds and I've lost 4 1/2. Seriously, that ticks me off. (That's not what our fight was about, lol) I'm not saying that weight loss is "easy" for men. I think that losing weight and getting in shape is hard for anyone. That's why we aren't all size 2. However, I think that men get better results than women do. Scott say's its from being in the military for 10 years. He got up this morning and got on the treadmill and jogged for over 500 calories. I got on the treadmill after him and went for 125 calories. I can't jog for 30 minutes, I'd have a stroke.
True to my typical nature, I was ticked off tonight and when I'm mad...I want to eat. But, I had melon so it's not my usual. I probably would have had some cheese and crackers (like Ritz which are high in calories) or chips or something. So, I'm not really happy with myself for eating, but at least I didn't eat something that was completely bad for me. It's a step in the right direction.
For dinner I think I did pretty good. I buy bags of frozen chicken breast tenders so I always have chicken on hand. Scott's a beef guy but I try to discourage it when we are dieting, I'm a chicken kind of girl anyways. So, I sliced the ckicken thin and did a saute with a drizzle of olive oil and some garlic powder. I also sauteed red, yellow, and orange mini peppers and a little onion along with slices of yellow squash....yummy! Add some fat free cheddar and we had really awesome fajita's. I was completely shocked but even my kids liked them. I didn't make them use reduced calorie cheese tho. I didn't really even notice a difference. Plus, I made rice so the kids added that in. I guess theirs was more like a burrito.
Anyhow, it turned out absolutely delish and we kept our calories to a minimum.....about 400 for the meal. That's within 30 calories of a diet frozen meal.
I'm trying to learn how to cook meals with less calories and fat. During the week we are doing frozen diet meals or a low calories sandwich with baked chips. I'm still cooking for the kids, so that's interesting....but I'm doing ok. And Chicky is helping me. Jason has even been cooking so that helps.
For dinner last night I bought boneless turkey breat tenderloins. I sliced it into small strips and then Jason cooked it on the grill. I covered it with foil and sprayed it with a little non-stick spray. Add the turkey and a little bit of Harlans seasoning and cook until browned. I also have a grill basket for veggies so we had the mini peppers, onions, and mushrooms. Throw a little organic vegetable seasoning from Costco on it and a dash of kosher salt....can't beat it. The kids went nuts for that too. Was nice to have a little normal food after eating frozen diet meals and low calorie sandwiches all week.
Maybe I should be writing this part of my recipe page? Oh well, doesn't matter. I'm just trying out different ideas and trying to see what works for all of us. It's not easy to please 6 people, especially when two are dieting. But I want my kids to eat healthier too. Jason is loving it because he is very aware of what he eats and he works out every day. He keeps telling me how happy he is to see healthy food in the house and that I'm feeding them healthy food. He moves back to his dorm tomorrow....I'll miss him like crazy!
Well I've rambled on long enough. If you have any ideas or suggestions for our diet or workouts, please share! After a week I'm already getting super bored on the treadmill. We rearranged our family room so it faces the TV and I've been watching shows on my DVR, but I'm still getting bored. I'll be glad when spring gets here and I can walk outside. I should anyways since it's been in the 40's the last couple days.
Until next time....
I'm actually not complaining, I enjoy doing it. This has been an odd holiday season. Living in Michigan, we get used to a white Christmas. We didn't have a white Christmas this year. I heard on the news that we've had snow for Christmas 9 out of the last 11 years. I guess we must have lived up north during those few years without snow, because I don't remember a green Christmas in a very long time....more than 11 years.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting here feeling extremely BORED! I let the kids stay home from school yesterday and we went out and about shopping. And I took them for lunch. We really had a great day. None of the kids did any fighting and that's pretty good considering we made 3 stops and were gone for about 4 1/2 hours. We went to Mongolian BBQ for lunch and it totally sucked! And to make it worse, it was $40 for us to eat. It's a buffet for crying out loud and one trip to the buffet for 2 adults and 2 little kids was $40! And the food wasn't that good. So I won't be going back. I have better things to do with my money.
Today is my mom's birthday. We were going to stop and see her and Scott and I ended up having a little "difference of opinion" as he calls it. I call it a fight. I hate fighting with him, even though I had good reason to be mad. It's been a really long time since we had an argument and I could have done without this one.
Our "get healthier" journey is going well. We're only in our first week and Scott has lost 13 pounds and I've lost 4 1/2. Seriously, that ticks me off. (That's not what our fight was about, lol) I'm not saying that weight loss is "easy" for men. I think that losing weight and getting in shape is hard for anyone. That's why we aren't all size 2. However, I think that men get better results than women do. Scott say's its from being in the military for 10 years. He got up this morning and got on the treadmill and jogged for over 500 calories. I got on the treadmill after him and went for 125 calories. I can't jog for 30 minutes, I'd have a stroke.
True to my typical nature, I was ticked off tonight and when I'm mad...I want to eat. But, I had melon so it's not my usual. I probably would have had some cheese and crackers (like Ritz which are high in calories) or chips or something. So, I'm not really happy with myself for eating, but at least I didn't eat something that was completely bad for me. It's a step in the right direction.
For dinner I think I did pretty good. I buy bags of frozen chicken breast tenders so I always have chicken on hand. Scott's a beef guy but I try to discourage it when we are dieting, I'm a chicken kind of girl anyways. So, I sliced the ckicken thin and did a saute with a drizzle of olive oil and some garlic powder. I also sauteed red, yellow, and orange mini peppers and a little onion along with slices of yellow squash....yummy! Add some fat free cheddar and we had really awesome fajita's. I was completely shocked but even my kids liked them. I didn't make them use reduced calorie cheese tho. I didn't really even notice a difference. Plus, I made rice so the kids added that in. I guess theirs was more like a burrito.
Anyhow, it turned out absolutely delish and we kept our calories to a minimum.....about 400 for the meal. That's within 30 calories of a diet frozen meal.
I'm trying to learn how to cook meals with less calories and fat. During the week we are doing frozen diet meals or a low calories sandwich with baked chips. I'm still cooking for the kids, so that's interesting....but I'm doing ok. And Chicky is helping me. Jason has even been cooking so that helps.
For dinner last night I bought boneless turkey breat tenderloins. I sliced it into small strips and then Jason cooked it on the grill. I covered it with foil and sprayed it with a little non-stick spray. Add the turkey and a little bit of Harlans seasoning and cook until browned. I also have a grill basket for veggies so we had the mini peppers, onions, and mushrooms. Throw a little organic vegetable seasoning from Costco on it and a dash of kosher salt....can't beat it. The kids went nuts for that too. Was nice to have a little normal food after eating frozen diet meals and low calorie sandwiches all week.
Maybe I should be writing this part of my recipe page? Oh well, doesn't matter. I'm just trying out different ideas and trying to see what works for all of us. It's not easy to please 6 people, especially when two are dieting. But I want my kids to eat healthier too. Jason is loving it because he is very aware of what he eats and he works out every day. He keeps telling me how happy he is to see healthy food in the house and that I'm feeding them healthy food. He moves back to his dorm tomorrow....I'll miss him like crazy!
Well I've rambled on long enough. If you have any ideas or suggestions for our diet or workouts, please share! After a week I'm already getting super bored on the treadmill. We rearranged our family room so it faces the TV and I've been watching shows on my DVR, but I'm still getting bored. I'll be glad when spring gets here and I can walk outside. I should anyways since it's been in the 40's the last couple days.
Until next time....
Friday, December 30, 2011
Something For The Kids
Without knowing it, my Mom gave me the best Christmas present ever....two years ago. She gave my two sisters and I each a Family Recipe Book. It is so cool. It's divided into sections like a regular recipe book, but ther are fancy pages for you to write in your family's favorite recipes. There are also cards, pages with pockets, space to write in notes, and clear pages for photo's. There are also clear full sheets that you can use to put scrapbook pages in.
If you are crafty, or even if you aren't, this is a great family project that you can keep adding to over the years and eventually pass down to your kids or grandkids.
Over the last two years I've added alot of recipes. Just recently, I started taking pictures of different foods when I make them with the intention of adding them to my recipe blog and then getting prints made to add to my family cookbook.
My girls are very craft and I started thinking that we should turn it into a scrapbooking project. I have all the supplies, I just need to print the pictures and start adding to our book. Snapfish has specials all the time where you get free photo's and sometimes free shipping. So, that's my project for tomorrow....to get all the prints sent to me that I haven't printed yet. I love to take pictures but I haven't been good about getting them printed. I even put a reminder in the calendar of my phone to go off tomorrow so I don't forget.
I forgot to say, when I put a recipe in my book, I make a note that tells us who's recipe it is, and if it's one of our favorites, I note that too. Chicky and I are all excited to start working on it. I've always liked to scrapbook, but now we're going to attend to our family recipe book.
I have no idea where my mom found these books. I wish that I had a couple more. I would save them and give them to my girls when they got married so they could put one together with their families. With that in mind I started thinking....I don't really need this particular one.
Way back when I first moved out of my parents house, I bought a $2.00 white folder (a 1" plastic) that has the clear plastic pocket on the front and back. I typed a paper that said "recipes" on it and then I filled it with those clear pages that you can fill with full sized peices of paper. I had handwritten recipes, typed, and ones I cut out of magazines. I'm thinking I can use this same idea to make Family Recipe Books for my girls.
You can find the folders at Walmart for a couple dollars and then you just need the clear plastic pages to put your papers into. I guess you could even use a paper punch and use card stock to make regular pages as well. I'm not sure where the best prices are on the pages, but I know you can find them at Walmart, Staples, and even in the scrapbook aisles at Hobby Lobby.
You can use markers, paint, and stickers to decorate your pages. Add pictures of your favorite foods. The recipe for my sugar cookies....I used a photo of Sami and my mom making them.
If your kids enjoy cooking, this is a fantastic gift that you can give them that you have made together. I've added recpies to mine that we all love and I know that my kids will enjoy the book when they get older and start cooking with their little ones.
Until next time.....
If you are crafty, or even if you aren't, this is a great family project that you can keep adding to over the years and eventually pass down to your kids or grandkids.
Over the last two years I've added alot of recipes. Just recently, I started taking pictures of different foods when I make them with the intention of adding them to my recipe blog and then getting prints made to add to my family cookbook.
My girls are very craft and I started thinking that we should turn it into a scrapbooking project. I have all the supplies, I just need to print the pictures and start adding to our book. Snapfish has specials all the time where you get free photo's and sometimes free shipping. So, that's my project for tomorrow....to get all the prints sent to me that I haven't printed yet. I love to take pictures but I haven't been good about getting them printed. I even put a reminder in the calendar of my phone to go off tomorrow so I don't forget.
I forgot to say, when I put a recipe in my book, I make a note that tells us who's recipe it is, and if it's one of our favorites, I note that too. Chicky and I are all excited to start working on it. I've always liked to scrapbook, but now we're going to attend to our family recipe book.
I have no idea where my mom found these books. I wish that I had a couple more. I would save them and give them to my girls when they got married so they could put one together with their families. With that in mind I started thinking....I don't really need this particular one.
Way back when I first moved out of my parents house, I bought a $2.00 white folder (a 1" plastic) that has the clear plastic pocket on the front and back. I typed a paper that said "recipes" on it and then I filled it with those clear pages that you can fill with full sized peices of paper. I had handwritten recipes, typed, and ones I cut out of magazines. I'm thinking I can use this same idea to make Family Recipe Books for my girls.
You can find the folders at Walmart for a couple dollars and then you just need the clear plastic pages to put your papers into. I guess you could even use a paper punch and use card stock to make regular pages as well. I'm not sure where the best prices are on the pages, but I know you can find them at Walmart, Staples, and even in the scrapbook aisles at Hobby Lobby.
You can use markers, paint, and stickers to decorate your pages. Add pictures of your favorite foods. The recipe for my sugar cookies....I used a photo of Sami and my mom making them.
If your kids enjoy cooking, this is a fantastic gift that you can give them that you have made together. I've added recpies to mine that we all love and I know that my kids will enjoy the book when they get older and start cooking with their little ones.
Until next time.....
Thursday, December 29, 2011
It's Family Night
When my oldest two children were young, we started having a "Family Night" a couple of times a month. We would get our PJ's on, get out blankets and pillows and make popcorn. Then we would pick out a movie that we all love. A fantastic family night.
I think the kids loved Family Night the most when we would have snacks and play games. We bought Pictionary Kids and they really enjoyed playing that. We had checkers and chinese checkers, but the Pictionary game was their favorite.
The kids started getting older and we had fewer and fewer family nights. It's really sad when you think about it. Families get so busy that they forget to spend time together and enjoy each other. Before you know it, your children have grown up into teenagers and spending time with mom and dad isn't very high on their priority list.
Well, Scott and I have been blessed enough to have two more children. So, we've been able to enjoy all the fun things that go with having young children in the house....for a second time. We've started having family night again. It's not as often as I'd like, but we try to squeeze it in where we can.
Last week we all got into comfy clothes and got out warm blankets. We made up goodie plates with salami, hunters saugsage, cheese, crackers, cashews and such....and we watched two of our favorite Christmas movies. We had a great time, and it gives our kids some really nice memories that they'll think about when they are grown up and have kids of their own.
Last night, we had family night on a smaller scale. John got this large pad of paper that is sort of like a "Where's Waldo" sort of thing but it's all Christmas. The pages are huge, and there are two lists. One is made of pictures of items to be found (for younger kids) and the other list has about 30 things to find within the pictures. So, Jourdan, John, Sami and I spent a couple of hours at the diningroom table looking for Christmas items. We had hot chocolate and lots of giggles. By the end of the evening, both of the younger kids were on my lap in search of Santa.
Life goes by so quickly. It seems that just yesterday Jason was a little boy going to kindergarden. Now, he's a sophomore in college! Where did the time go? I think it goes faster once you have children! My dad told me that a very long time ago...and I think he was right. Now, I'm trying to not let the days go by so fast....to stop and take the time to enjoy spending time with my kids. We don't know how long we'll be here...so don't take your time for granted.
There are all kinds of fun things to do together as a family. I LOVE to do crafts. I could spend hours down in my craft room sewing or painting. Jourdan and Sami are the same way. As a matter of fact, I spent about an hour down there tonight cleaning up from the last time Sami "helped" me in the craft room. haha
It's worth it though. She'll have those memories her whole life...and so will I.
I think the kids loved Family Night the most when we would have snacks and play games. We bought Pictionary Kids and they really enjoyed playing that. We had checkers and chinese checkers, but the Pictionary game was their favorite.
The kids started getting older and we had fewer and fewer family nights. It's really sad when you think about it. Families get so busy that they forget to spend time together and enjoy each other. Before you know it, your children have grown up into teenagers and spending time with mom and dad isn't very high on their priority list.
Well, Scott and I have been blessed enough to have two more children. So, we've been able to enjoy all the fun things that go with having young children in the house....for a second time. We've started having family night again. It's not as often as I'd like, but we try to squeeze it in where we can.
Last week we all got into comfy clothes and got out warm blankets. We made up goodie plates with salami, hunters saugsage, cheese, crackers, cashews and such....and we watched two of our favorite Christmas movies. We had a great time, and it gives our kids some really nice memories that they'll think about when they are grown up and have kids of their own.
Last night, we had family night on a smaller scale. John got this large pad of paper that is sort of like a "Where's Waldo" sort of thing but it's all Christmas. The pages are huge, and there are two lists. One is made of pictures of items to be found (for younger kids) and the other list has about 30 things to find within the pictures. So, Jourdan, John, Sami and I spent a couple of hours at the diningroom table looking for Christmas items. We had hot chocolate and lots of giggles. By the end of the evening, both of the younger kids were on my lap in search of Santa.
Life goes by so quickly. It seems that just yesterday Jason was a little boy going to kindergarden. Now, he's a sophomore in college! Where did the time go? I think it goes faster once you have children! My dad told me that a very long time ago...and I think he was right. Now, I'm trying to not let the days go by so fast....to stop and take the time to enjoy spending time with my kids. We don't know how long we'll be here...so don't take your time for granted.
There are all kinds of fun things to do together as a family. I LOVE to do crafts. I could spend hours down in my craft room sewing or painting. Jourdan and Sami are the same way. As a matter of fact, I spent about an hour down there tonight cleaning up from the last time Sami "helped" me in the craft room. haha
It's worth it though. She'll have those memories her whole life...and so will I.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)