It's been so long since I've written...it was January for crying out loud. So much has happened in my life, alot of really big changes! I enjoy writing here, it's so relaxing to me and very therapeutic....yet I find it hard to get to it. It's unfortunate because it's something I enjoy so much.
The last time I wrote, I was talking about losing weight and getting healthier. Losing weight.....the reason I started my blog. To reach out to other mom's who need to lose weight and get on a healthier path.
I'm proud to say that I have now lost a total of 44.5 pounds. I can't even believe that I've lost all that weight. I look in the mirror and I see the same person, but I'm told that's normal. The big difference is in the way my clothes fit. I've had to get rid of all my big clothes because none of them fit me anymore. I've gone down several pants sizes, which is great! All of my dress clothes are way too big so they have been given to Goodwill.
And my husband, he's exactly the same size as he was in January. Go figure, easy off...easy on!
If you've never struggled with your weight, you really can't understand how hard it is to lose it. We don't put the weight on overnight, but once we start to work on ourselves and try to get the extra weight off, it feels like torture. It's hard to lose weight. I've said it again and again.
I'm going to go back a little further. I've made some really positive changes in my life over the last year. I feel like I'm a much happier and more positive person than I used to be, and I could even see the changes when I read back over old posts.
Around Christmas time I had gone to my doctor because I was just feeling really crappy. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I didn't feel good. Well, she had some concerns with my bloodwork, so I went back after 3 months, then again 3 months later. I'm making a point, I promise. I've struggled with high blood pressure for several years and even on my meds, I was having very high blood pressure. Seems like I take a hand full of pills every day for my BP. I thought it was making me feel lousy.
I was wrong, 3 weeks ago I was diagnosed with Diabetes! Most people would say, "oh that's not the end of the world". I'm here to tell you, my doctor has me going to 6 Diabetes classes to learn about the disease and how to treat my body to take care of the diabetes. What it's doing is scaring the hell out of me.
Diabetes if hereditary and my family is full of diabetics. I had no idea how serious it was, or how sick a person is on the inside when they have diabetes. I'm very scared! It it causing problems with my liver and my pancreas. Medication hasn't brought my numbers down so now in addition to oral medication I have to begin 2 injections a day of a second medication.
When my doctor told me I sobbed. I have a needle phobia like you wouldn't believe. Now, I'm having to poke my hand or arm 3 times a day to check my blood-sugar levels. I think that so many years of not taking care of my body has put me in this position. I'm very scared about what could happen. I'm still learning about the disease, I know that it's a progressive disease so I need to take care of it to slow it down. It's very tedious work to count out the carbs for each meal, and measure everything you eat. I still don't have the hang of it because I was standing in my kitchen today feeling dizzy and knew that I was going to pass out. Luckily, Scott was standing right there and kept me from going down on the wood floor. A big eye opener and something scary that I've never experienced before.
So at a time when I thought my life was heading in a certain direction, I've been slapped in the face with a very scary disease. I'm doing my best to learn about it so I'll know how to take care of myself. I've lost alot of weight but still have 20 or 25 pounds to go. I know that I said my goal was 40 pounds, but I also knew that once I lost that I might feel like I needed to lose more.
And thank goodness for my friend and neighbor, Mindy, she has been dragging me out to Zumba! That's what has helped me to lose the weight. It's been terrible how the last few weeks so I haven't been able to Zumba, but as soon as it's back into the 70's....I'm there!
Well, I have so much more to talk about but it's late and my post is already long. I guess I'll be changing the focus of my recipe blog too, in light of my change in diet. I'm not going to let this get me down though, I've worked too hard to take better care of myself! It's just a new chapter of my life that I didn't expect.
Until next time....
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