I'm finally feeling a little bit better, about the emotional stuff anyways. I spent an entire week crying my eyes out. I've been miserable with wisdom teeth....how awful is that? I've had sick kids....such a joy. And to top it off, I dislocated my collar bone last Friday. What a moron. Who the hell puts their collar bone out?
I guess I do. And it hurts. Seriously, it hurts like hell. I was starting to feel better after being home for two days. I went to work today and totally set my healing back by sitting in my chair typing all day. Gawd my shoulder and arm have been throbbing all day!
Ok, enough bitching about that....you don't need to here me whine anymore.
John was home yesterday, he has an ear infection. Well after a dose of ibuprofen, some cold medicine and a dose of antibiotic he started to feel better. So, he went into the bedroom with Sami and completely tore it apart. I'm not kidding, you couldn't even see the floor. But he was being a good big brother....he taught Sami how to climb in and out of her crib all by herself.
Ugh! Trying to get her to stay in bed last night was terrible. She kept getting up and getting up. I gave her a little swat, but it really didn't bother her. I eventually had to threaten her with daddy. "If you don't stay in your bed I'm going to have daddy come in here". That was the end of that. Except she got out of her bed by herself this morning.
Luckily I was already up so everything was safe. But I'm wondering how the weekends are going to be. She is such a little busy body. Oh my gosh, she gets into EVERYTHING! Her favorite thing to do.....get a cup and drag a chair over to the fridge and fill it up with the water in the door. Then she goes to the sink, dumps it out, and starts all over. We end up with ice and water across the whole kitchen! It doesn't bother me at all because Scott is always the lucky one to soak it up with his socks, lol.
So, in a nutshell, I'm feeling better. I'm not crying every two seconds and I have more energy. And this sounds so cheesy but I've been thinking alot about my age. I know what you're thinking. Tracy has been thinking about her age????? No way!!!
I know, this isn't the first time we've talked about this. I think that seeing a 23 year old kid laying in a coffin really caused me to have an emotional breakdown....at least for a couple of days. I cannot even imagine how Jeanne is hanging on after losing her son. But he died a hero and our entire community is proud of his service and thankful that he was in the military to protect us here in the U.S.
Well, I've been looking at my kids and they are growing so fast. Jason is graduating this year and this fall, Jourdan will be a senior in high school. She'll be able to take drivers training in the fall. I don't know how that can be because she's my little baby girl. (I think some people call this....denial?)
Time is just going by so fast. Where the hell did 2009 go? It was just March and here we are at the end of January 2010. It feels like the older I get, the faster time goes. I'm trying to look at life a little bit differently. I don't want to get to 80 and have all of these regrets.
One of the big issues in my marriage is that Scott wants to move out west. This is really tearing me up inside. He is miserable here in Michigan, and he is here because he loves me and our kids. I want him to be happy to though. With Jason starting college and having a full ride here in Michigan I'm worried about him not wanting to move until he's done with school. Plus, he has Hope. I know he doesn't want to leave Hope......he loves her.
We're trying to sell our house. It is my hope that we will sell it and then buy something yucky in the country that we can remodel. That is what we have done with every house we've had. Someday, we'll build our dream house. I don't want that someday to never come, so we're trying to make plans. Scott is investing in his 401K and we are getting our debt paid down in a pretty good pace. I've filed our taxes and we should have them next Friday, so two credit cards will be paid in full. Yay! This will help our budget so much.
I need to make some changes and take advantage of what the good Lord has given to Scott and I. There are alot of people out there who have it much worse than we do. The biggest thing I want to change is to spend time with my kids. Last summer we only went camping one time. Ridiculous. We have this great camper sitting out there and we used it once! How stupid.
I'm thinking this will be the last summer that Jason will actually live at home, that is how it was for me...for Tina too. I want to enjoy this year as a family. I miss my kids terribly and I wish that I could figure out a way to make money and still be at home. I could always do bookkeeping, but small businesses are struggling. I can do freelance paralegal work, but there are newly graduated attorney's interviewing for paralegal jobs.....so I don't have a chance.
At work, Jenny has the best quote written on the board. I can't remember who wrote it, but I love the quote.
If you have integrity, nothing else matters.
If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters.
I love that! Maybe this should be my New Years resolution. Spend more time with my kids. Return phone calls as promised and be a better friend to my friends. I've been a shitty friend to some of my friends. Like Sally, I haven't talked to Sally and Alice for months and months. And they were the last ones to call me....so it's my turn. And I've let them down....and I feel bad. I think about them all the time, but I let the hectic stressful life take over me and a week turns into a month, turns into 3 months, turns into a year. I feel bad about it and I'm the only one who can change it. That's my goal!
Something I'm so thankful for is that I've reconnected with Janice. She is one of my very favorite people on this earth and I love her like a sister. For a long time we didn't talk and finally I kicked myself in the ass one day and stopped over to see her. Lately, we've been pretty tight and I love it. What's better is that Hope and Jason are dating, so I think that has made us even closer too. And I can't forget Kathie. My good friend Kathie who is always there for me. She's a great person and a great friend. I'm looking forward to going out to lunch with her and all the kids tomorrow.
And, Janice and I are trying to plan a girls day out. This includes hitting the craft stores, just to look around because that's what I LOVE to do. Then maybe some dinner and coctails. Yes, coctails...we needs lots of alcohol! LOL
I feel better now. I can't type anymore. Whatever is going on in my shoulder has the nerve in my thumb and index finger all screwed up and they are both numb. Makes it hard to type. Have a great night.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Sgt. Lucas Beachnaw
I didn't know Lucas very well, but I did know him when he was little.....and I became friends with his mom Jeanne about 15 or 16 years ago. When I found out that Lucas had been killed in Afghanistan last week, I haven't been able to stop crying. I'm praying for strength for Jeanne and her family.
This morning I took part in honoring Sgt. Beachnaw by going to the fairgrounds with Janice, my dad, and Tina. We lined up with many other folks from Lowell and waved our flags. When we saw the first flashing lights of the funeral procession come over the hill and down across the flag lined bridge, I looked at people to my right and left and everyone was crying. It was incredible to see the love and support that Lowell gave to Lucas's family and friends.
The hearse went by us and we could see the flag that covered his casket in the back. His family, military friends, and the Patriot Guard all following. It was the most incredible thing I have ever experienced in my life. I can't even describe it.
Tonight, Janice and I went to Ada Bible Church. Janice works with Jeanne, so we went together. When we got there, there were Patriot Guard guys in the front of the Church and flags as far as you could see. There were photo's upon photo's of Lucas and along with all the tears and sadness everyone knew that this young man was a hero and he died for his Country.
I was standing with Janice and I saw a young man in a uniform across the room. I couldn't stop watching him because he looked exactly like a photo of Scott that I came across a few weeks ago. It had been taken when he was about 20 years old, he had his military uniform on. I kept telling Janice, he looks just like Scotts picture I have at home. She said that we'd sneak a picture of him, and I laughed. I said, Nope! I'm going over to talk to him.
His name is Ross and he told us that he had been with Lucas. I told him my story about looking so much like a 20 year old Scott and asked if I could have a picture with him. This young man was so wonderful. He talked to us and told us how brave Lucas was and that he was a hero. After Janice took our picture, he gave us both a hug. I'll probably never see this young man again but I wish he knew how much it meant to me to talk to him tonight. And I wish that I could tell him how much I appreciate him and every other member of the military. I'd shared with him my fear of my boys going into the military, but I didn't mean it with any disrespect. I meant it as a mother...but I know that Ross's mom must be really proud of the service that her son is giving our Country.
Tomorrow is Lucas's funeral. Janice and I were one of the last ones to leave and when I gave Jeanne a hug she said, "Thanks for coming tonight....I need to go say goodnight to my son."
This morning I took part in honoring Sgt. Beachnaw by going to the fairgrounds with Janice, my dad, and Tina. We lined up with many other folks from Lowell and waved our flags. When we saw the first flashing lights of the funeral procession come over the hill and down across the flag lined bridge, I looked at people to my right and left and everyone was crying. It was incredible to see the love and support that Lowell gave to Lucas's family and friends.
The hearse went by us and we could see the flag that covered his casket in the back. His family, military friends, and the Patriot Guard all following. It was the most incredible thing I have ever experienced in my life. I can't even describe it.
Tonight, Janice and I went to Ada Bible Church. Janice works with Jeanne, so we went together. When we got there, there were Patriot Guard guys in the front of the Church and flags as far as you could see. There were photo's upon photo's of Lucas and along with all the tears and sadness everyone knew that this young man was a hero and he died for his Country.
I was standing with Janice and I saw a young man in a uniform across the room. I couldn't stop watching him because he looked exactly like a photo of Scott that I came across a few weeks ago. It had been taken when he was about 20 years old, he had his military uniform on. I kept telling Janice, he looks just like Scotts picture I have at home. She said that we'd sneak a picture of him, and I laughed. I said, Nope! I'm going over to talk to him.
His name is Ross and he told us that he had been with Lucas. I told him my story about looking so much like a 20 year old Scott and asked if I could have a picture with him. This young man was so wonderful. He talked to us and told us how brave Lucas was and that he was a hero. After Janice took our picture, he gave us both a hug. I'll probably never see this young man again but I wish he knew how much it meant to me to talk to him tonight. And I wish that I could tell him how much I appreciate him and every other member of the military. I'd shared with him my fear of my boys going into the military, but I didn't mean it with any disrespect. I meant it as a mother...but I know that Ross's mom must be really proud of the service that her son is giving our Country.
Tomorrow is Lucas's funeral. Janice and I were one of the last ones to leave and when I gave Jeanne a hug she said, "Thanks for coming tonight....I need to go say goodnight to my son."
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Insomnia At It's Worst
I'm trying something new. I have been suffering with insomnia for about 3 1/2 weeks now. It's 11pm and I am sitting here wide awake, and tired as hell.
I'm trying something new, I'm calling it a little bit of blogging therapy. I think I've had probably the worst three weeks that I can remember in a very long time. I was having serious issues with my wisdom teeth and it started back in October. (Here comes my pity party.) Well, I did have a little dental work done, but it's so expensive and it Christmas was coming fast.
Then I discovered that I had Dental insurance available to me beginning January 1st. YAY!!! So, I was able to schedule an appointment with my dentist and an oral surgeon and have my wisdom teeth out last week. Well, I spent about a month in misery taking Darvocet. I was so miserable that I couldn't sleep at night....if you've ever had a toothache in your life you know exactly what I mean. I was physically sick from hurting so bad.
So, pain pills, and then no sleep at night....I started napping during the day because I could only sleep in bits and pieces.
Thanks so much, my sleeping is completely fucked up right now. I'm so tired that my head is pounding.....yet I lay here and cannot fall asleep.
Let's add more to this wonderful story called my life. Scott has convinced me that we should sell our house. Well, our property taxes in the City are insane and for the same house in the country we could drop our house payment....and have property....for about $300 less a month. Ok, I like that idea. But we haven't even been pre-approved for a friggin loan yet. Our mortgage guy is working on it and I'm freaking out. The sign went in the yard today and someone already wants to come through the house.
A lady called our office a couple weeks ago who was freaking out and had to schedule a move. Why was she freaking out? Well the housing market in Michigan sucks so they had put their house on the market figuring they would probably sell it in the spring. Well, their home sold in two days and they had no place to go.
So, right now, I'm freaking out. In the past, when we decided to sell our home we had everything perfect. I mean perfect. We don't have that right now. We still have some painting to do....and I wanted to clean my living room carpet. So now, I have to squeeze all this in my Saturday afternoon, and Scott will be at work all day. That means, I'm on my own with four kids running around. This is not going to go well.
So, I have that going for me. I know, I sound selfish because two serious things happened recently and I'm just now getting to it. My Grandma Gannon is diabetic and she bumped her foot. Doesn't sound like a big deal right? Well, she doesn't take care of her diabetes like she should and her foot got an infection in it....and eventually it turned black with infection. So, my Uncle had to practically drag her to the hospital. Thankfully he did because they told her if she had waited another day they would have been amputating her foot. So, they put her on antibiotics and tried to get the infection under control.
I think my mom even told me it swelled so much it opened up. UGH, that's beyond what I can even think about. Well, to save her foot, the doctors at Blodgett decided they needed to surgically go in and remove some of the infection from her foot. Well, when they put her under her heart stopped. This is not the first time this happened to my Grandma. She's not exactly young anymore and she ended up in ICU. So, because she didn't want them to use a local to numb her foot, she almost died.
Now, this is my mom's mom. My Grandpa Gannon passed away when I was two years old, and I don't really remember him.
Then my mom calls me yesterday and tells me that they were taking Grandpa (my dad's dad) to the hospital because they think he's had a stroke. Well, he did. He had a stroke and has some kind of infection. They actually sent him right back to his nursing home because there isn't anything they can do for him.
I've had this awful feeling about my Grandpa today. You know that sometimes you just feel like something is going to happen. All day I just felt like I had to go see Grandpa today. So, I called my mom and asked her to meet me there....and Jason went to. I just saw him at Thanksgiving, which seems like forever now.....and he looks so different. He looks......I can't describe it.
I talked to my sister Tina on my way home from work and the oddest thing. She said she had the same feeling about Grandpa today and she had been to see him today. She said when she got there he was laying on his bed resting. She sat down and was talking to him and in the middle of a sentence he just stopped talking and his mouth kinda hung open....and then he didn't breathe right away. She said she freaked out and started to cry because she thought that he'd passed away right there in front of her.
Well, the only thing I could think about was being in Ohio with Scotts mom and the book that Hospice gave us that talked about the signs of end of life. This is one of the signs. It's exactly the same thing that happened with Jan and all I have done today is cry my eyes out.
Grandpa is 91. He told me today that he never thought he would live to be 91 years old and that he's had a good long life. Well, he had told Tina that Jim Topp had been there last night and he came into Grandpa's room by his bed and shook his hand. They talked about their gardens and just had the best talk. Well, Jim passed away a long time ago and used to be a neighbor of Grandpa's. They were two old guys who loved to garden.
If you have ever watched Ghost Hunters and have seen TAPS at work, you would believe that Jim Topp actually did visit Grandpa last night. I believe in Angels and I think that my Grandpa is starting to see people who have passed. I think he's getting ready to go.
When I was a little kid my Grandpa looked old like a Grandpa. He has looked the same for my entire life...from the time I was a little kid riding my big wheel through his garage on Weber st. to today. He's the Grandpa who has been old forever so he will live forever. I have the best memories of being at his house. Alot of my best memories are from being at his house...even though we had to watch Lawrence Welk, lol. He always had a stocking for Tina and I with Minute Rice in it for Christmas because it was our favorite!
So, when I was there tonight visiting him I didn't even know what to say to him. I tried to be cheerful and all I wanted to do was cry....and when I left I cried all the way home. I don't think Jason knew what to say either, he was very quiet. It's really hard to see someone in this kind of medical condition that is so different from what you've known your entire life. I don't even know how the hell my dad is handling it. I honestly don't!
To top off my day yesterday, I was texting back and forth with Janice and I found out that a friend of mine lost her son last Wednesday. He was a Sgt. in the military and was killed in Afghanistan last week. He was only 23 years old. Scott said that he'd heard about a soldier from Lowell being killed, but I had been so sick with my teeth and lack of sleep that I didn't know. Once I realized from Janice who this young man was, all I have done is cry. More crying, and more crying.
Now, I'm not super close with his mom but we were good friends many years ago when Paul and I were married and we ran into each other often. I had seen her just a few weeks ago, as a matter of fact....and I didn't even realize that Lucas was in the military. But for some reason, along with all the things I've already talked about....all I can think about is Jeannie and the fact that she has lost her son. They've been waiting and waiting to hear about when his body would be flown into Grand Rapids, finally today they found out that he'll be flown in Thursday morning.
Lowell is doing all kinds of fantastic things to show Jeannie's family support. Flags will be lining the bridges and because she is a bus driver, all the busses will be lined up with people and supporters at the fairgrounds...which are just past the bridge that will be lined with flags.
I cannot even imagine how it would be to lose a child. I don't ever want to know. NEVER! I think that having a son who is almost 18 is making me feel even worse about it because I just cannot imagine how I would even survive...mentally....if he were to join the military and go overseas.
I'm not anti-military....trust me. Scott spent ten years in the Army and I have all the respect that I could have. I'm just scared to death of losing m y child in a war.....and I know that every parent with a child in the military feels the same way. So, I keep thinking about Jeannie and praying that she is ok and that God will give her strength. A parent shouldn't have to bury a child...period!
So, now do you see why I can't sleep? My sleep pattern is so screwed up and my Doc offered me some meds but I hate to take stuff like that. The last time I tried a prescription sleeping pill, it knocked me out so hard....I didn't like it. I have little kids in the house and I need to hear it if they wake up. Sami is cutting teeth and she wakes up sometimes and wants a drink or some tylenol. Then, she goes right back to sleep.
But tomorrow is going to be another bad day. It's nearly midnight and here I am. I'll be up just before 7am to get John off to school. Then, I'm meeting Janice and going to the fairgrounds to show our support for Jeannie and her son. Then, I have to work, come home and do laundry and clean for showing our house on Sat. I'm trying to get some things boxed up so we don't look so cluttered and full around here. The amount of stuff we have is ridiculous.
So, does anyone have any ideas for me? I'd hoped that by getting this all out on "paper" I might feel better and be able to set it aside and go to sleep tonight. But, it's not working. When Scott and I have a "difference of opinion" aka fight, I write in my journal and I feel better and then I can sleep. But this time, it just doesn't seem to be working. I'm at the top of what I can handle mentally. Honestly, I think my head will explode if one more bad thing happens.
Tina and I talked about this today, and we both feel like there is just something bad happening in this world right now. Wars, terrorists, young people dead in weird accidents.....how long before something tragic hits us close to home? The world seems so screwed up right now. Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Yemen, Isreal, terrorists coming into the US. A freaking crazy liberal President, and speaker who are taking our wonderful country down the toilet. How long before something really terrible directly affect my family?
I'm trying something new, I'm calling it a little bit of blogging therapy. I think I've had probably the worst three weeks that I can remember in a very long time. I was having serious issues with my wisdom teeth and it started back in October. (Here comes my pity party.) Well, I did have a little dental work done, but it's so expensive and it Christmas was coming fast.
Then I discovered that I had Dental insurance available to me beginning January 1st. YAY!!! So, I was able to schedule an appointment with my dentist and an oral surgeon and have my wisdom teeth out last week. Well, I spent about a month in misery taking Darvocet. I was so miserable that I couldn't sleep at night....if you've ever had a toothache in your life you know exactly what I mean. I was physically sick from hurting so bad.
So, pain pills, and then no sleep at night....I started napping during the day because I could only sleep in bits and pieces.
Thanks so much, my sleeping is completely fucked up right now. I'm so tired that my head is pounding.....yet I lay here and cannot fall asleep.
Let's add more to this wonderful story called my life. Scott has convinced me that we should sell our house. Well, our property taxes in the City are insane and for the same house in the country we could drop our house payment....and have property....for about $300 less a month. Ok, I like that idea. But we haven't even been pre-approved for a friggin loan yet. Our mortgage guy is working on it and I'm freaking out. The sign went in the yard today and someone already wants to come through the house.
A lady called our office a couple weeks ago who was freaking out and had to schedule a move. Why was she freaking out? Well the housing market in Michigan sucks so they had put their house on the market figuring they would probably sell it in the spring. Well, their home sold in two days and they had no place to go.
So, right now, I'm freaking out. In the past, when we decided to sell our home we had everything perfect. I mean perfect. We don't have that right now. We still have some painting to do....and I wanted to clean my living room carpet. So now, I have to squeeze all this in my Saturday afternoon, and Scott will be at work all day. That means, I'm on my own with four kids running around. This is not going to go well.
So, I have that going for me. I know, I sound selfish because two serious things happened recently and I'm just now getting to it. My Grandma Gannon is diabetic and she bumped her foot. Doesn't sound like a big deal right? Well, she doesn't take care of her diabetes like she should and her foot got an infection in it....and eventually it turned black with infection. So, my Uncle had to practically drag her to the hospital. Thankfully he did because they told her if she had waited another day they would have been amputating her foot. So, they put her on antibiotics and tried to get the infection under control.
I think my mom even told me it swelled so much it opened up. UGH, that's beyond what I can even think about. Well, to save her foot, the doctors at Blodgett decided they needed to surgically go in and remove some of the infection from her foot. Well, when they put her under her heart stopped. This is not the first time this happened to my Grandma. She's not exactly young anymore and she ended up in ICU. So, because she didn't want them to use a local to numb her foot, she almost died.
Now, this is my mom's mom. My Grandpa Gannon passed away when I was two years old, and I don't really remember him.
Then my mom calls me yesterday and tells me that they were taking Grandpa (my dad's dad) to the hospital because they think he's had a stroke. Well, he did. He had a stroke and has some kind of infection. They actually sent him right back to his nursing home because there isn't anything they can do for him.
I've had this awful feeling about my Grandpa today. You know that sometimes you just feel like something is going to happen. All day I just felt like I had to go see Grandpa today. So, I called my mom and asked her to meet me there....and Jason went to. I just saw him at Thanksgiving, which seems like forever now.....and he looks so different. He looks......I can't describe it.
I talked to my sister Tina on my way home from work and the oddest thing. She said she had the same feeling about Grandpa today and she had been to see him today. She said when she got there he was laying on his bed resting. She sat down and was talking to him and in the middle of a sentence he just stopped talking and his mouth kinda hung open....and then he didn't breathe right away. She said she freaked out and started to cry because she thought that he'd passed away right there in front of her.
Well, the only thing I could think about was being in Ohio with Scotts mom and the book that Hospice gave us that talked about the signs of end of life. This is one of the signs. It's exactly the same thing that happened with Jan and all I have done today is cry my eyes out.
Grandpa is 91. He told me today that he never thought he would live to be 91 years old and that he's had a good long life. Well, he had told Tina that Jim Topp had been there last night and he came into Grandpa's room by his bed and shook his hand. They talked about their gardens and just had the best talk. Well, Jim passed away a long time ago and used to be a neighbor of Grandpa's. They were two old guys who loved to garden.
If you have ever watched Ghost Hunters and have seen TAPS at work, you would believe that Jim Topp actually did visit Grandpa last night. I believe in Angels and I think that my Grandpa is starting to see people who have passed. I think he's getting ready to go.
When I was a little kid my Grandpa looked old like a Grandpa. He has looked the same for my entire life...from the time I was a little kid riding my big wheel through his garage on Weber st. to today. He's the Grandpa who has been old forever so he will live forever. I have the best memories of being at his house. Alot of my best memories are from being at his house...even though we had to watch Lawrence Welk, lol. He always had a stocking for Tina and I with Minute Rice in it for Christmas because it was our favorite!
So, when I was there tonight visiting him I didn't even know what to say to him. I tried to be cheerful and all I wanted to do was cry....and when I left I cried all the way home. I don't think Jason knew what to say either, he was very quiet. It's really hard to see someone in this kind of medical condition that is so different from what you've known your entire life. I don't even know how the hell my dad is handling it. I honestly don't!
To top off my day yesterday, I was texting back and forth with Janice and I found out that a friend of mine lost her son last Wednesday. He was a Sgt. in the military and was killed in Afghanistan last week. He was only 23 years old. Scott said that he'd heard about a soldier from Lowell being killed, but I had been so sick with my teeth and lack of sleep that I didn't know. Once I realized from Janice who this young man was, all I have done is cry. More crying, and more crying.
Now, I'm not super close with his mom but we were good friends many years ago when Paul and I were married and we ran into each other often. I had seen her just a few weeks ago, as a matter of fact....and I didn't even realize that Lucas was in the military. But for some reason, along with all the things I've already talked about....all I can think about is Jeannie and the fact that she has lost her son. They've been waiting and waiting to hear about when his body would be flown into Grand Rapids, finally today they found out that he'll be flown in Thursday morning.
Lowell is doing all kinds of fantastic things to show Jeannie's family support. Flags will be lining the bridges and because she is a bus driver, all the busses will be lined up with people and supporters at the fairgrounds...which are just past the bridge that will be lined with flags.
I cannot even imagine how it would be to lose a child. I don't ever want to know. NEVER! I think that having a son who is almost 18 is making me feel even worse about it because I just cannot imagine how I would even survive...mentally....if he were to join the military and go overseas.
I'm not anti-military....trust me. Scott spent ten years in the Army and I have all the respect that I could have. I'm just scared to death of losing m y child in a war.....and I know that every parent with a child in the military feels the same way. So, I keep thinking about Jeannie and praying that she is ok and that God will give her strength. A parent shouldn't have to bury a child...period!
So, now do you see why I can't sleep? My sleep pattern is so screwed up and my Doc offered me some meds but I hate to take stuff like that. The last time I tried a prescription sleeping pill, it knocked me out so hard....I didn't like it. I have little kids in the house and I need to hear it if they wake up. Sami is cutting teeth and she wakes up sometimes and wants a drink or some tylenol. Then, she goes right back to sleep.
But tomorrow is going to be another bad day. It's nearly midnight and here I am. I'll be up just before 7am to get John off to school. Then, I'm meeting Janice and going to the fairgrounds to show our support for Jeannie and her son. Then, I have to work, come home and do laundry and clean for showing our house on Sat. I'm trying to get some things boxed up so we don't look so cluttered and full around here. The amount of stuff we have is ridiculous.
So, does anyone have any ideas for me? I'd hoped that by getting this all out on "paper" I might feel better and be able to set it aside and go to sleep tonight. But, it's not working. When Scott and I have a "difference of opinion" aka fight, I write in my journal and I feel better and then I can sleep. But this time, it just doesn't seem to be working. I'm at the top of what I can handle mentally. Honestly, I think my head will explode if one more bad thing happens.
Tina and I talked about this today, and we both feel like there is just something bad happening in this world right now. Wars, terrorists, young people dead in weird accidents.....how long before something tragic hits us close to home? The world seems so screwed up right now. Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Yemen, Isreal, terrorists coming into the US. A freaking crazy liberal President, and speaker who are taking our wonderful country down the toilet. How long before something really terrible directly affect my family?
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Michigan Needs Help!
HI everyone!
Hey, I just realized that I can't change my typing color, and that stinks. Sometimes I feel purple.
I've been thinking alot about politics lately, and even though I haven't been on here ranting and raving about the Democrats, I've been thinking about it. I'm just in shock over what is happening to this great country of ours. It sickens me and we are on a socialistic path.
What happened to Obama's promise of Change? And what happened to Obama saying that off the this health care bullshit would be televised on C-Span with open doors? It never happened! And for some reason, the liberal newspaper doesn't even call him on it. It sickens me.
So, here I go:
In the United States, if your'e a Democrat you can buy votes in order to get Health care legislation passed. This means that all other states are paying for one state not having to put extra state money into medicaid.
And did you know, that the young mad who smuggled a BOMB onto a United States bound airplain, without a passport, is in our criminal justice system? He's given the same rights as you and I and every other American. Apparently, Obama doesn't use the word "terrorist" anymore. Christmas Day bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab is not a terrorist. He has lawyers who are fighting to get him released, as you read. He has been given all the rights of any other American in our criminal court system. He tried to blow up a plane over Detroit, he is not an American citizen, but Obamas Administration doesn't consider him a terrorist. WHAT?
Since Obama has become President he has been tested twice. Will the third time be the charm? Will the Sears Tower, the Statue of Liberty, or some other large tourist attraction be attached next? How many more Americans will die before Obama realizes that there are bad people out there who do not like American's and want to kill us?
I worry about this every day. I have four kids. I want each of them to have long happy lives. I want them to go to college, get married, buy their first homes, have children, and have the chance to grow old in a safe country! I'm afraid for my chrildren right now.
I see alot of big changes happening in 2010. I think that the Republicans are going to kick the asses of these spineless Democrats who have come up with a 2000 page Health Care reform bill behind closed doors. A bill that doesn't adress tort reform, and waste!
With the economy being so bad, why doesn't each one of our congressmen take a 20% pay cut? Get rid of their fancy limo's, airplanes, and expense accounts. What amazes me about Michigan is that Granhold is bitching about being in the red for our budget.
This is simple accounting here. Most people, like you and I, we make a certain amount of money each month. We plan out our budget to make our payments and make sure that we are not speding more money than we have coming in. It's Math 101 for crying out loud. Aren't these people in our Government supposed to be smart?
This is what kills me. When there is a bidget shortfall, what is the first thing that happens. They get out there and the governmeor starts crying how we'll have to let prisoners out early, cut our police, and biggest of all, they will but the school budgets. That is such bullshit.
They want to scare the people by talking about the school budgets. Do Superintendents really need to make $200,000 a year? Do they need cars and expense accounts. How about some accountability to the people who pay their taxes and pay their salries.
Instead of cutting the schools, cut out some of the money they give to the arts. I know that's not as scary as telling people who the schools will have to cut bussing next year, but it's a start. Last year, I read the entire budge for the small town I live in. I was shocked at the waste that I found. The city manager makes an enourmous salaray, and has an expense account.
When everone is cutting back, why isn't our government? It makes me furious! Instead of using scare tactics, make some real cuts to the budget that we really don't desperately need. I'm sorry, but I don't give a shit about giving money to art museaums and crap like that. I'm more worried about making sure my children hav a good education. Let them hold fundraisers, like every other organization does.
My dad said something to me that I found interesting. He said that when things are tight, the first thing that governments bring up are the shcool budgets. This is to scare people. They sit and listen to the hardships if the shcool. Wouldn't it be worth a little bit of a tax increase to help your children get the education they've been receiving.....for just a little more tax money? Take a look at what these administrators and priciples make. It's sickening. Everyone is cutting back. Why not start there?
I'm sure that there are many towns around the country having these same problems. Michigan has an unemployment rate over 15%. That is just people who are getting unemployment benefits right now. They figure that when you consider all the people who have had their benefits run out, and those who have just given up, the unenmployment rate is over 18%. 18% if Michigan residents don't have jobs? Are you kidding ne?
I work for Two Men And A Truck. Wood TV 8 came to our office a week or so ago and did a story with my boss to find out how many people are moving out of Michigan. Our ouyt of state moves are up 130 fronm last year and our local moves are subastantially down fron last year...sorry I can' remember the exact amount. People are leavibg because there is no work.
What is the Democrat plan? More taxes to give money to the poor. I work for a small business owner. I know how tough it is right now for ny boss. Cutting taxes would ebable us to hire more employees.,
And don't even get me started about our property taxes in the City of Lowell. Its insane! We are trying like hell to get out of town, but people aren't buying. So, we'll keep our fingers crossed that the right person comes along and buys our house. If the City of Lowell, and many other municipalities would stop and consider one idea, "keep the money in the hands of the people and they will spend and get the money out into the economy". This is how it is supposed to work. When the consumer has more money, they spend and then sales are up, tax revenue is up and things fall into place after time.
To, that's my opinion. I could go on and on forever! Got anything to offer, let me know.
Hey, I just realized that I can't change my typing color, and that stinks. Sometimes I feel purple.
I've been thinking alot about politics lately, and even though I haven't been on here ranting and raving about the Democrats, I've been thinking about it. I'm just in shock over what is happening to this great country of ours. It sickens me and we are on a socialistic path.
What happened to Obama's promise of Change? And what happened to Obama saying that off the this health care bullshit would be televised on C-Span with open doors? It never happened! And for some reason, the liberal newspaper doesn't even call him on it. It sickens me.
So, here I go:
In the United States, if your'e a Democrat you can buy votes in order to get Health care legislation passed. This means that all other states are paying for one state not having to put extra state money into medicaid.
And did you know, that the young mad who smuggled a BOMB onto a United States bound airplain, without a passport, is in our criminal justice system? He's given the same rights as you and I and every other American. Apparently, Obama doesn't use the word "terrorist" anymore. Christmas Day bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab is not a terrorist. He has lawyers who are fighting to get him released, as you read. He has been given all the rights of any other American in our criminal court system. He tried to blow up a plane over Detroit, he is not an American citizen, but Obamas Administration doesn't consider him a terrorist. WHAT?
Since Obama has become President he has been tested twice. Will the third time be the charm? Will the Sears Tower, the Statue of Liberty, or some other large tourist attraction be attached next? How many more Americans will die before Obama realizes that there are bad people out there who do not like American's and want to kill us?
I worry about this every day. I have four kids. I want each of them to have long happy lives. I want them to go to college, get married, buy their first homes, have children, and have the chance to grow old in a safe country! I'm afraid for my chrildren right now.
I see alot of big changes happening in 2010. I think that the Republicans are going to kick the asses of these spineless Democrats who have come up with a 2000 page Health Care reform bill behind closed doors. A bill that doesn't adress tort reform, and waste!
With the economy being so bad, why doesn't each one of our congressmen take a 20% pay cut? Get rid of their fancy limo's, airplanes, and expense accounts. What amazes me about Michigan is that Granhold is bitching about being in the red for our budget.
This is simple accounting here. Most people, like you and I, we make a certain amount of money each month. We plan out our budget to make our payments and make sure that we are not speding more money than we have coming in. It's Math 101 for crying out loud. Aren't these people in our Government supposed to be smart?
This is what kills me. When there is a bidget shortfall, what is the first thing that happens. They get out there and the governmeor starts crying how we'll have to let prisoners out early, cut our police, and biggest of all, they will but the school budgets. That is such bullshit.
They want to scare the people by talking about the school budgets. Do Superintendents really need to make $200,000 a year? Do they need cars and expense accounts. How about some accountability to the people who pay their taxes and pay their salries.
Instead of cutting the schools, cut out some of the money they give to the arts. I know that's not as scary as telling people who the schools will have to cut bussing next year, but it's a start. Last year, I read the entire budge for the small town I live in. I was shocked at the waste that I found. The city manager makes an enourmous salaray, and has an expense account.
When everone is cutting back, why isn't our government? It makes me furious! Instead of using scare tactics, make some real cuts to the budget that we really don't desperately need. I'm sorry, but I don't give a shit about giving money to art museaums and crap like that. I'm more worried about making sure my children hav a good education. Let them hold fundraisers, like every other organization does.
My dad said something to me that I found interesting. He said that when things are tight, the first thing that governments bring up are the shcool budgets. This is to scare people. They sit and listen to the hardships if the shcool. Wouldn't it be worth a little bit of a tax increase to help your children get the education they've been receiving.....for just a little more tax money? Take a look at what these administrators and priciples make. It's sickening. Everyone is cutting back. Why not start there?
I'm sure that there are many towns around the country having these same problems. Michigan has an unemployment rate over 15%. That is just people who are getting unemployment benefits right now. They figure that when you consider all the people who have had their benefits run out, and those who have just given up, the unenmployment rate is over 18%. 18% if Michigan residents don't have jobs? Are you kidding ne?
I work for Two Men And A Truck. Wood TV 8 came to our office a week or so ago and did a story with my boss to find out how many people are moving out of Michigan. Our ouyt of state moves are up 130 fronm last year and our local moves are subastantially down fron last year...sorry I can' remember the exact amount. People are leavibg because there is no work.
What is the Democrat plan? More taxes to give money to the poor. I work for a small business owner. I know how tough it is right now for ny boss. Cutting taxes would ebable us to hire more employees.,
And don't even get me started about our property taxes in the City of Lowell. Its insane! We are trying like hell to get out of town, but people aren't buying. So, we'll keep our fingers crossed that the right person comes along and buys our house. If the City of Lowell, and many other municipalities would stop and consider one idea, "keep the money in the hands of the people and they will spend and get the money out into the economy". This is how it is supposed to work. When the consumer has more money, they spend and then sales are up, tax revenue is up and things fall into place after time.
To, that's my opinion. I could go on and on forever! Got anything to offer, let me know.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Where Has The Time Gone?
It seems like just yesterday Jason and Jourdan were little kids running around waiting for Santa and worrying about their next spelling test. Now, Jason is 17 years old and a Senior in High School. In five months he will graduate from High School and go off to college. Jourdan will be starting High School in a few months. I can't even believe. it. Where did the time go?
I just turned 40 years old and I have teenage kids, and I also have young kids. It's like I have two separate families here in my house.
I'm in denial that my kids are growing up. It seems like yesterday they were little kids and now Jason is driving and has a job and a girlfriend, who I love by the way,
He's working for Two Men And A Truck now. I love seeing him at the office on the days he's working and I'm there. Seriously. It's so funny to see him in a TMAT uniform. It's too cute.
And lets move on to Jourdan. She informed me that she is eligible to take drivers training next year...I take that back, this fall. I can't even imagine. She is totally not prepared mentally to take drivers training. I told her that she needs to start making some mover mature decisions. She is a little imagture fo rher age and I worry about that. We'll probably make her wait one fore year to take drivers training.
I'm done with school, and now I can focus on getting a job in the legal field. I really love working for Two Men And A Truck and I really dont' want to leave. I think that I am going to offer several local lawyers a one-day internship to get some experience. Maybe one will hire me eventually. I have way too much student loan debt to not work in the legal field. We'll see what happens.
Other than that, we had a fantastic Christmas. I went through a little depression stage the week before Christmas worrying about money, but it all worked out ok. I'm feeling much better now. I know this has been a really boring post, it was really an update on what has been happenin. I really shouldn't bitch because life is good. I have raised some really great kids and they are going to go on and do some great things in life. I'm really proud of them and glad that they are such wonderful kids. Until next time....
I just turned 40 years old and I have teenage kids, and I also have young kids. It's like I have two separate families here in my house.
I'm in denial that my kids are growing up. It seems like yesterday they were little kids and now Jason is driving and has a job and a girlfriend, who I love by the way,
He's working for Two Men And A Truck now. I love seeing him at the office on the days he's working and I'm there. Seriously. It's so funny to see him in a TMAT uniform. It's too cute.
And lets move on to Jourdan. She informed me that she is eligible to take drivers training next year...I take that back, this fall. I can't even imagine. She is totally not prepared mentally to take drivers training. I told her that she needs to start making some mover mature decisions. She is a little imagture fo rher age and I worry about that. We'll probably make her wait one fore year to take drivers training.
I'm done with school, and now I can focus on getting a job in the legal field. I really love working for Two Men And A Truck and I really dont' want to leave. I think that I am going to offer several local lawyers a one-day internship to get some experience. Maybe one will hire me eventually. I have way too much student loan debt to not work in the legal field. We'll see what happens.
Other than that, we had a fantastic Christmas. I went through a little depression stage the week before Christmas worrying about money, but it all worked out ok. I'm feeling much better now. I know this has been a really boring post, it was really an update on what has been happenin. I really shouldn't bitch because life is good. I have raised some really great kids and they are going to go on and do some great things in life. I'm really proud of them and glad that they are such wonderful kids. Until next time....
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)