I am already in bed, I had my computer turned off and I was ready to lay here an watch tv as I doze off into dreamland. Then my stomach growled! For crying out loud! Ok, I've been holding out on you. I haven't wanted to talk about losing weight because every time I do I never follow through for more than a few days. Who knows, this time could be the same thing. (Wow, that's positive thinking at it's best.)
I'm just trying really hard to eat better and to get off my dead ass and do something. I worked out today for almost an hour. Yesterday I went to the gym with Janice and Hope to work out and it was alot of fun. See, Janice and I are in the same boat. We like food too much. I have to speak mostly for myself, I like food and that's what got me this extra 45 pounds that I need to lose.
So, here it is, the beginning of February 2009. I'm sitting here thinking the same thing that I did for alot of Februarys in my past......if I want to get this weight off before summer I need to work on it now. Now never happens...well it did many years ago when I lost a crap load of weight, but I haven't worked on it since then.
Sorry, I'm rambling. Janice called me and we had a long talk about the fact that we need to stop talking about eating healthier and exercising and start doing it. She has joined a gym that is pretty fantastic. I hope to get Scott over there to check it out because I think he'll like it too. In the meantime, I'm going to pull my head out of my ass and keep exercising here at home.
Have I lost weight? I don't know yet because I haven't weighed myself. I'm nervous to because I always make that mistake in the beginning.
So tonight, I'm fighting with being hungry. I was going to go to sleep but here I am. Lord, give me the strength to stay out of the kitchen tonight. I keep telling myself over and over something that I heard Nicole say on Days of Our Lives. She told Chloe, "you are in control of everything".
"I am in control of everything". "I am in control of everything". I am in control over what I put in my mouth. I am in control over how much exercise I do each day. I am in control of how I look. I am in control of everything!
I'm going to write that on a piece of paper and put it on my bathroom mirror along with a picture of myself. I know that Scott and the kids will give me a hard time, but I have to remind myself and have the photo staring me in the eye to stop myself from giving in to food cravings.
Scott and I have our 8th wedding anniversary coming up in April. My goal is to wear this black nightgown that I have NEVER worn for him. It's been hanging in my closet just waiting for me to lose 30 or 40 pounds! I even showed it to him, he's like "yeah, let's exercise" LOL. I mean really exercise so I can wear it. (Get your mind outta the gutter.)
Ok, I feel better now. I was laying here ten minutes ago thinking, "nobody will know if I eat some chips". I got out of bed, filled up my glass of ice water and stood there staring at a picture of myself with Jourdan that's on the fridge. It was taken October 2, 2000 and I was so thin. I wasn't skinny, I was average. To me....that was so thin and I looked so good and I was so happy with myself. I wasn't embarassed, I felt good, I had energy. I want that body back. So, no chips for me....I'll wait until morning and have coffee and oatmeal..yum!
I should have mentioned that I'm doing the Weight Watchers deal again. I'm not going to any meetings but I'm using their books and point system. I feel like i'm doing really good so far and I'm working out. Damn I'm sore tonight. It's a good thing. These muscles haven't been worked on in a long time. It's my goal to be able to join the gym with Janice, but it's not going to happen financially for a while. She's so motivating me though.
JANICE, my dear sweet friend. You motivated me so much and I'm so thankful.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Hello
Don't forget to go over to the right side of my blog and scroll down....I have lots of goodies over there. I have pictures and a list of the blogs I like....including Nicki's and my recipee blog. What's up...don't any of my friends cook? I'm not seeing any new recipees.
25 Random Things About Me
Ok, I'm stealing this idea from Facebook. I've already posted 25 things and kept thinking that this would be a more fun place to put it. I expect everyone to comment by posting 25 random things about themselves. Don't drop the ball here. (Nicki, it's your fault, I'm stealing your idea.)
1. I've been to New York and took a ferry around the Statue of Liberty, walked through Central Park, shopped in Greenwich Village, driven over the George Washington Bridge, and through the Lincoln Tunnel.
2. I went back to work 6 months ago but really miss being at home with the kids. I seriously like my job, I just miss them.
3. I have a lead foot, if I'm not driving at least 78 mph on the expressway....I'm bitching!
4. Scott wants us to move to Montana in 2 years.....which goes along with #5
5. I keep talking to Scott about moving to Montana but I really don't want to go. (Yeah, he knows....and eventually we'll go)
6. I'm already worrying about Jason going away to college and he's only a Junior. I can't imagine not seeing him every single day and when I think about it....I cry. (See it's happening right now.)
7. I've always wanted to find a job where I could work part-time from home.
8. I wear a size 10 - 11 shoe! (Call me bigfoot!)
9. My first boyfried broke up with me because I wouldn't "do it" (and look at me now, lol).
10. I drank alot of beer with Tina before I turned 21. Hell, I drank alot of beer with Tina and our friends before I turned 18.
11. I've watched the movie "Down Periscope" about a hundred times.
12. I love Iron Chef America.
13. I'm a procrastinator. (Yeah, if you know me you already know this.)
14. I'm lousy at remembering to call people back (goes back to the procrastination thing).
15. I'm planning something really special for our wedding anniversary this year. (It's only 2 months away.)
16. I hate fork biters. It's like nails on a chalk board to me. Just thinking about it makes my teeth hurt.
17. A loud TV makes my head want to explode.
18. And Scott, I wouldn't trade him for anything. He's my number 1!
19. I usually see the negative side of things. (Scott is working on me though.)
20. I haven't talked to my mom in a week. (But that's typical.)
21. I'm seriously broke right now, thanks to Christmas...but it was worth it.
22. I suck at making Butterhorn rolls.
23. I like to make homemade soup and I make really good baked chicken. (Scott is still a better cook than I am.)
24. A beer sounds really good right now.....
and finally
25. My favorite color is red, I don't like being in a group of people I don't know, my weight is embarassing to me, I feel terrible meeting Scott's friends because I don't like the way I look, I'm always going to start a diet on Monday, I'm insecure, I have great kids and a great marriage.
Life isn't so bad.
1. I've been to New York and took a ferry around the Statue of Liberty, walked through Central Park, shopped in Greenwich Village, driven over the George Washington Bridge, and through the Lincoln Tunnel.
2. I went back to work 6 months ago but really miss being at home with the kids. I seriously like my job, I just miss them.
3. I have a lead foot, if I'm not driving at least 78 mph on the expressway....I'm bitching!
4. Scott wants us to move to Montana in 2 years.....which goes along with #5
5. I keep talking to Scott about moving to Montana but I really don't want to go. (Yeah, he knows....and eventually we'll go)
6. I'm already worrying about Jason going away to college and he's only a Junior. I can't imagine not seeing him every single day and when I think about it....I cry. (See it's happening right now.)
7. I've always wanted to find a job where I could work part-time from home.
8. I wear a size 10 - 11 shoe! (Call me bigfoot!)
9. My first boyfried broke up with me because I wouldn't "do it" (and look at me now, lol).
10. I drank alot of beer with Tina before I turned 21. Hell, I drank alot of beer with Tina and our friends before I turned 18.
11. I've watched the movie "Down Periscope" about a hundred times.
12. I love Iron Chef America.
13. I'm a procrastinator. (Yeah, if you know me you already know this.)
14. I'm lousy at remembering to call people back (goes back to the procrastination thing).
15. I'm planning something really special for our wedding anniversary this year. (It's only 2 months away.)
16. I hate fork biters. It's like nails on a chalk board to me. Just thinking about it makes my teeth hurt.
17. A loud TV makes my head want to explode.
18. And Scott, I wouldn't trade him for anything. He's my number 1!
19. I usually see the negative side of things. (Scott is working on me though.)
20. I haven't talked to my mom in a week. (But that's typical.)
21. I'm seriously broke right now, thanks to Christmas...but it was worth it.
22. I suck at making Butterhorn rolls.
23. I like to make homemade soup and I make really good baked chicken. (Scott is still a better cook than I am.)
24. A beer sounds really good right now.....
and finally
25. My favorite color is red, I don't like being in a group of people I don't know, my weight is embarassing to me, I feel terrible meeting Scott's friends because I don't like the way I look, I'm always going to start a diet on Monday, I'm insecure, I have great kids and a great marriage.
Life isn't so bad.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Skipping The Walk
I almost forgot, I just bought 4 Tae Bo tapes off Ebay. Since I fell down the basement steps 2 months ago my back has hurt like hell. Now that my ribs are healed, I'm supposed to exercise. Well, I've discovered (much to my embarassment) that walking on the treadmill just isn't for me. I don't mind it for short periods of time, but I can't stand staring at the wall. Yuck. So, I'm trying this.
I know what you're thinking...another weight loss promise. Well, I really can't give up promising myself to lose weight and exercise can I? Janice can attest to this, back when I lived in my apartment and I lost 40 pounds in 3 months....it was by walking on the treadmill and doing my Tae Bo tapes. I even talked her into doing the beginner tape with me once...we nearly passed out together, lol. No really, I did lose that much weight before so it gives me hope.
I know what you're thinking...another weight loss promise. Well, I really can't give up promising myself to lose weight and exercise can I? Janice can attest to this, back when I lived in my apartment and I lost 40 pounds in 3 months....it was by walking on the treadmill and doing my Tae Bo tapes. I even talked her into doing the beginner tape with me once...we nearly passed out together, lol. No really, I did lose that much weight before so it gives me hope.
From My Sister Jamie
Florida Court Sets Atheist Holy Day
In Florida , an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case Against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,"Case dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays." The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant." The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."
The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart: there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned.'
In Florida , an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case Against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,"Case dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays." The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant." The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."
The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart: there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned.'
I've just discovered Facebook. Is anyone else on it....I know some of you are because we've been writing on each other's wall! How fun....and addicting. I'm finding people from highschool that I haven't seen or talked to in 20 years. How fun is that?
Would you believe that it's 9:16 pm and Sam is in her bed screaming bloody murder? She's been asleep since 7:30ish and she's already starting her nightly routine of getting me out of my bed every couple of hours. Last night...again with waking me up every couple of hours. I don't know what to do with this kid.
I'm no moron! I've done this before, it's not rocket science. Why can't I get this kid to sleep through the night? I've tried feeding her a snack just before bed. Our pediatrician told me to let her cry it out, that she needs to learn how to fall back to sleep on her own. Yeah, well she will scream for as long as it takes me to finally get up and go in there. I'm talking 10 minutes....30 minutes...45 minutes of screaming until I finally can't take it anymore and go into her room just to lay her down and cover her back up. It's exhausting. She's 15 months old...and sleeps like a 2 week old. No wonder I always feel like shit!
So, I hope everyone has read my last post about property taxes and has fired off a stern email to their local government servants. I'm really ticked off about it....I'm sure you got that from my last post. It's not right for the government to take more when people are struggling. Right now, we're trying to work out a way to get rid of our truck for a gas efficient car. Luckily, Scott lost all his overtime....so all that extra money that I was spending on utilities and food is gone...poof! So, we need to trim the budget.
We could take the Dodgeball stance on earning money....by selling blood and semen. Well, might be tough for me to do that. I don't produce one, and I pass out at the sight of the other.
Wow, I'm on fire tonight!
Would you believe that it's 9:16 pm and Sam is in her bed screaming bloody murder? She's been asleep since 7:30ish and she's already starting her nightly routine of getting me out of my bed every couple of hours. Last night...again with waking me up every couple of hours. I don't know what to do with this kid.
I'm no moron! I've done this before, it's not rocket science. Why can't I get this kid to sleep through the night? I've tried feeding her a snack just before bed. Our pediatrician told me to let her cry it out, that she needs to learn how to fall back to sleep on her own. Yeah, well she will scream for as long as it takes me to finally get up and go in there. I'm talking 10 minutes....30 minutes...45 minutes of screaming until I finally can't take it anymore and go into her room just to lay her down and cover her back up. It's exhausting. She's 15 months old...and sleeps like a 2 week old. No wonder I always feel like shit!
So, I hope everyone has read my last post about property taxes and has fired off a stern email to their local government servants. I'm really ticked off about it....I'm sure you got that from my last post. It's not right for the government to take more when people are struggling. Right now, we're trying to work out a way to get rid of our truck for a gas efficient car. Luckily, Scott lost all his overtime....so all that extra money that I was spending on utilities and food is gone...poof! So, we need to trim the budget.
We could take the Dodgeball stance on earning money....by selling blood and semen. Well, might be tough for me to do that. I don't produce one, and I pass out at the sight of the other.
Wow, I'm on fire tonight!
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