Yesterday I was doing my usual thing and reading through posts on Facebook. I quickly discovered that Dee Story, a woman that I went all through school with, was in Ann Arbor fighting for her life. Her husband told me she was suffering from accute liver failure.
I was in shock. I saw posts on facebook from her just a couple of days ago.
Today, Dee went to heaven.
Barely 40 years old, she went to heaven.
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You know I've been thinking alot about my age lately. I may not have come right out and said it, but I've been doing alot of thinking about my kids getting older and the fact that I'm nearly out of my 30's (gulp). I've been thinking alot about getting myself healthier. I need to lose about 40 pounds or so and the fact that I'm knocking on the door of......oh gawd......40......has me turned inside out. It has been affecting me emotionally. So much so I've had to make an appointment to see my family doctor next week.
I haven't seen or talked to Dee, other than random meetings on facebook, since we graduated from high school. I remember when I first started signing into facebook some of my friends and I had commented on how beautiful Dee Parrish is. She lost a bunch of weight out of high school and she is married to a professional photographer, Scott Story, and there are some beautiful photo's of her on his facebook page. We were feeling a little jealous, but not in a bad way. She truley is a beautiful person.
I think what I'm trying to say is that even though I had lost touch with Dee, I am feeling terribly sad that she has left this world. She was very young.
Last Sunday, she posted a message on her Facebook that said, "Love my family and friends. We had a beautiful day!"
If you do nothing else today, wrap your arms around your husband and your children and tell them how much you love them. Then say a prayer and thank God for a happy and healthy family. You are blessed.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
In The Blink Of An Eye
Today is Wednesday! Woooo Whoooo! Last day of the work week for me. It's been a little hectic at work. I can't say that it's stressful, but there is tension. I think I already talked about it in an earlier post.
So, it's the last day of the work week and I'm thrilled. I just put Sami to bed, and it's 9:30 pm so I'm hoping that she'll sleep pas 6:30 am. I kept her up as long as I could, hoping to really tire her out. I'll report back later.
I left work a few minutes early so I could take some dinner to Scott during his break. I felt so bad for him when he came out to the truck. He looked so hot and so miserable. He told me that it was terribly hot in the shop. He's been hanging pipe in the ceiling so you know it's worse up there. So, he sat in the Excursion with me and the kids and had his subway for dinner. Then, back to the furnace they call a shop. He's out in 20 minutes and I can't wait for him to get home so he can take a cool shower and just relax in the AC. The thermostat is set at 67 degrees, baby!
After going to Graphite we stopped at Walmart. Jourdan has been going crazy worrying about her supplies she'll need for church camp. Paul is sending her to church camp, which is great. I'm glad that she gets to go. The problem is that she has a list about a mile long of things that she needs to take to camp. Guess who has to supply all that stuff? You know!
So, we stopped at Walmart so she could buy shampoo, conditioner, body soap, toothpaste, sun lotion, and I don't know what else....a big pile of stuff. She also wanted a new swim suit, but they didn't have anything that complimented her figure. So, we are opting for a different store....we'll see if we can find anything.
Almost $100 later we left Walmart. If I remember right, it costs about $200 for camp and Paul had asked me to pay for half. It was really bad timing too, right when we were paying him for the truck for Jason. Yes, Scott and I had to buy the truck from Paul for Paul's son. No big surprise there, right? So, that was at a bad time. I started thinking that by the time I buy her all this little stuff, new swimsuit, new japflaps, a new bag to carry her stuff in, and whatever else she needs I'm going to be into it for as much as he paid for camp. Still, I'm the bad guy for not paying.
You know, this is leading me to a good topic of discussion. I think that when your kids don't live with you you tend to forget how expensive children can be. I don't think that Paul has a clue as to how much running I do for the kids and how expensive they are. I just paid half the cost of football camp and then paid for Jason's football pack from Under Armor that was $74.00. This is not to mention the new tennis shoes he needs, cleats for football season, the girdle, chin strap, and Pink Arrow Jersey (that'll cost around $200).
So, kids are not cheap. I guess when you only think of yourself and have little contact with your kids you tend to forget. I'm not saying that all non-custodial parents are this way....but that's the life I'm living...and have been living for a long time. Beth, I know you can probably relate to what I'm saying.
Not long ago I was accused of over-compensating when it comes to my kids. Over-compensating for what they have to deal with when they are with their dad and over-compensating because of the childhood that I had. It was meant as an insult at the time, but I can't really wrap my mind around it being an insult.
It may be true that I have over-compensated with my kids, but seriously...what is wrong with that? I have good kids. Oh, they can be real shitheads sometimes...but who isn't? We all have our moments. When it comes down to it, I try to remind myself that even though I have made mistakes, I have given my kids a pretty good life. They are good kids, they could have a little more respect but what teenager isn't mouthy sometimes?
I know I've done right by my kids. I'm not perfect and I've screwed up, but they know I love them!
I've been thinking alot about this lately. Must be because Jason is heading into his senior year in high school. Before you know it, kids are all grown up and you don't really matter anymore. They still love you, but you just aren't important. Savor every moment with your kids. Because your first grader will be graduating High School in the blink of an eye!
So, it's the last day of the work week and I'm thrilled. I just put Sami to bed, and it's 9:30 pm so I'm hoping that she'll sleep pas 6:30 am. I kept her up as long as I could, hoping to really tire her out. I'll report back later.
I left work a few minutes early so I could take some dinner to Scott during his break. I felt so bad for him when he came out to the truck. He looked so hot and so miserable. He told me that it was terribly hot in the shop. He's been hanging pipe in the ceiling so you know it's worse up there. So, he sat in the Excursion with me and the kids and had his subway for dinner. Then, back to the furnace they call a shop. He's out in 20 minutes and I can't wait for him to get home so he can take a cool shower and just relax in the AC. The thermostat is set at 67 degrees, baby!
After going to Graphite we stopped at Walmart. Jourdan has been going crazy worrying about her supplies she'll need for church camp. Paul is sending her to church camp, which is great. I'm glad that she gets to go. The problem is that she has a list about a mile long of things that she needs to take to camp. Guess who has to supply all that stuff? You know!
So, we stopped at Walmart so she could buy shampoo, conditioner, body soap, toothpaste, sun lotion, and I don't know what else....a big pile of stuff. She also wanted a new swim suit, but they didn't have anything that complimented her figure. So, we are opting for a different store....we'll see if we can find anything.
Almost $100 later we left Walmart. If I remember right, it costs about $200 for camp and Paul had asked me to pay for half. It was really bad timing too, right when we were paying him for the truck for Jason. Yes, Scott and I had to buy the truck from Paul for Paul's son. No big surprise there, right? So, that was at a bad time. I started thinking that by the time I buy her all this little stuff, new swimsuit, new japflaps, a new bag to carry her stuff in, and whatever else she needs I'm going to be into it for as much as he paid for camp. Still, I'm the bad guy for not paying.
You know, this is leading me to a good topic of discussion. I think that when your kids don't live with you you tend to forget how expensive children can be. I don't think that Paul has a clue as to how much running I do for the kids and how expensive they are. I just paid half the cost of football camp and then paid for Jason's football pack from Under Armor that was $74.00. This is not to mention the new tennis shoes he needs, cleats for football season, the girdle, chin strap, and Pink Arrow Jersey (that'll cost around $200).
So, kids are not cheap. I guess when you only think of yourself and have little contact with your kids you tend to forget. I'm not saying that all non-custodial parents are this way....but that's the life I'm living...and have been living for a long time. Beth, I know you can probably relate to what I'm saying.
Not long ago I was accused of over-compensating when it comes to my kids. Over-compensating for what they have to deal with when they are with their dad and over-compensating because of the childhood that I had. It was meant as an insult at the time, but I can't really wrap my mind around it being an insult.
It may be true that I have over-compensated with my kids, but seriously...what is wrong with that? I have good kids. Oh, they can be real shitheads sometimes...but who isn't? We all have our moments. When it comes down to it, I try to remind myself that even though I have made mistakes, I have given my kids a pretty good life. They are good kids, they could have a little more respect but what teenager isn't mouthy sometimes?
I know I've done right by my kids. I'm not perfect and I've screwed up, but they know I love them!
I've been thinking alot about this lately. Must be because Jason is heading into his senior year in high school. Before you know it, kids are all grown up and you don't really matter anymore. They still love you, but you just aren't important. Savor every moment with your kids. Because your first grader will be graduating High School in the blink of an eye!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Montana, Here We Come
I did something today! I can't even believe that I did it. I don't think that Scott believes that I did it either.
I puchased two....yes, I said TWO, round-trip airline tickets to Missoula, Montana for Scott and I.
Scott has been asking me to go to Montana for the last....hmmmm....five years. Probably even longer than that. He's convinced that once I go there and visit, i'll want to live there. Well, he might be right. I won't know for sure until I get there.
The kids are going to be bitter. Not Sami. She won't really care. John will be upset that we are going to be gone for several days. Jason and Jourdan are going to be downright mad because I know they want to go. I feel terrible about it. Even worse than terrible. I know Jason wants to go see Univ of Montana in Missoula. If we really do end up moving there, he'll hopefull transfer out there from Michigan Tech. We'll see.
I've had a stomach ache all day long because of this. Well, I think it's because of this trip. I can't believe that I actually agreed to be gone from the kids for a week. It's making me feel really shitty. Scott and I went to Ohio a couple of weeks ago and we were gone for one night. That was really hard. I'd asked my mom to come and stay with the kids and she made me feel really bad about going. How am I going to go for 6 days?
I'm just not going to think about it. I'll have to make sure the kids have plenty to do and that we stay busy as well. That will keep my mind off missing the kids, I hope. I might need to be medicated, we'll see.
So, that's my big news.
Scott and I were pissy with each other all day yesterday. Yeah, a really great Father's Day. He was cranky and so was I. I admit it, but he was pissier than I was. He had an attitude about me not wanting to go to Montana. He had an attitude because I had an attitude about him turning me down all the time. It's a vicious cycle, I know. He didn't even say goodnight last night. He was giving me the cold shoulder.
So, I snuck his credit card out of his wallet with the intention of booking our flight today and surprise him with it when he got home tonight. Well, he called me on the way to work and mentioned that he was going to use his card. Well, crap-olla! So, I had to give it up.
After all that, he wasn't even that surprised. All he said was that he was worried about how I would handle being away from the kids. Yeah, well that makes two of us.
I puchased two....yes, I said TWO, round-trip airline tickets to Missoula, Montana for Scott and I.
Scott has been asking me to go to Montana for the last....hmmmm....five years. Probably even longer than that. He's convinced that once I go there and visit, i'll want to live there. Well, he might be right. I won't know for sure until I get there.
The kids are going to be bitter. Not Sami. She won't really care. John will be upset that we are going to be gone for several days. Jason and Jourdan are going to be downright mad because I know they want to go. I feel terrible about it. Even worse than terrible. I know Jason wants to go see Univ of Montana in Missoula. If we really do end up moving there, he'll hopefull transfer out there from Michigan Tech. We'll see.
I've had a stomach ache all day long because of this. Well, I think it's because of this trip. I can't believe that I actually agreed to be gone from the kids for a week. It's making me feel really shitty. Scott and I went to Ohio a couple of weeks ago and we were gone for one night. That was really hard. I'd asked my mom to come and stay with the kids and she made me feel really bad about going. How am I going to go for 6 days?
I'm just not going to think about it. I'll have to make sure the kids have plenty to do and that we stay busy as well. That will keep my mind off missing the kids, I hope. I might need to be medicated, we'll see.
So, that's my big news.
Scott and I were pissy with each other all day yesterday. Yeah, a really great Father's Day. He was cranky and so was I. I admit it, but he was pissier than I was. He had an attitude about me not wanting to go to Montana. He had an attitude because I had an attitude about him turning me down all the time. It's a vicious cycle, I know. He didn't even say goodnight last night. He was giving me the cold shoulder.
So, I snuck his credit card out of his wallet with the intention of booking our flight today and surprise him with it when he got home tonight. Well, he called me on the way to work and mentioned that he was going to use his card. Well, crap-olla! So, I had to give it up.
After all that, he wasn't even that surprised. All he said was that he was worried about how I would handle being away from the kids. Yeah, well that makes two of us.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Quote of The Day - June 18, 2009
"Government is not the solution to our problem. Government is the problem."
Ronald Reagan
Ronald Reagan
Peace.....At Last!
It's amazing what 7 hours of sleep can do for an over tired, emotionally exhausted mom. I feel better today.
It's Thursday and up until last night I had just had a stressful week. There is tension at work. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. The problem is a new person in the front office who is making the office very.....what's the word I'm looking for......well, there is tension in the air.
This woman never shuts up. I'm trying to have a conversation with a co-worker and she thinks I'm also speaking to her, so she butt's into the conversation. Have you ever met a person who is a chronic interrupter? That is this gal. She won't shut up and she get's into a conversation that she isn't even a part of. How can you be good at sales when you never stop talking? To be good you have to shut your mouth and open your ears. Guess she hasn't figured that out yet.
Ok, I don't want to get started on that again. I bet my blood pressure is through the roof.
I went to a networking thing today for the PMA. That's the Property Management Assoc of West Michigan. They had an open house at a brand new ritzy apartment complex in downtown Grand Rapids. If you ever go downtown when you are on I-196 just before the Ottawa exit, there is a HUGE brand new building on your right side....that's the Icon on Bond. This place is really something.
We got a tour, of course. Had food and wine. It was fun. This place has 8 different floor plans with one, two, and three bedroom apartments. They all have at least two bathrooms that are bigger than Johns bedroom and walk-in closets bigger than my first apartment. The ceilings are 9 ft. Makes the place look huge. Oh, and marble counters everywhere.
The coolest thing, I thought was a theatre on the second floor. It had four or five rows of extra large leather reclining theatre seats. Residents can reserve it for movies or sporting events. It's really something. Even has a bar in the theatre....like I already said, very ritzy!
So, that's what I did today. I met Jenny there and we had a nice time. We sat in the theatre seats drinking wine and I could have reclined back and taken a nap. Seriously! LOL
I didn't, I came home and fed the kids a snack before bed. Paul picked up Jourdan for the weekend and Jason is doing....whatever teenagers do. At the moment, all is quiet in the Watkins household. A very rare treat.
It's Thursday and up until last night I had just had a stressful week. There is tension at work. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. The problem is a new person in the front office who is making the office very.....what's the word I'm looking for......well, there is tension in the air.
This woman never shuts up. I'm trying to have a conversation with a co-worker and she thinks I'm also speaking to her, so she butt's into the conversation. Have you ever met a person who is a chronic interrupter? That is this gal. She won't shut up and she get's into a conversation that she isn't even a part of. How can you be good at sales when you never stop talking? To be good you have to shut your mouth and open your ears. Guess she hasn't figured that out yet.
Ok, I don't want to get started on that again. I bet my blood pressure is through the roof.
I went to a networking thing today for the PMA. That's the Property Management Assoc of West Michigan. They had an open house at a brand new ritzy apartment complex in downtown Grand Rapids. If you ever go downtown when you are on I-196 just before the Ottawa exit, there is a HUGE brand new building on your right side....that's the Icon on Bond. This place is really something.
We got a tour, of course. Had food and wine. It was fun. This place has 8 different floor plans with one, two, and three bedroom apartments. They all have at least two bathrooms that are bigger than Johns bedroom and walk-in closets bigger than my first apartment. The ceilings are 9 ft. Makes the place look huge. Oh, and marble counters everywhere.
The coolest thing, I thought was a theatre on the second floor. It had four or five rows of extra large leather reclining theatre seats. Residents can reserve it for movies or sporting events. It's really something. Even has a bar in the theatre....like I already said, very ritzy!
So, that's what I did today. I met Jenny there and we had a nice time. We sat in the theatre seats drinking wine and I could have reclined back and taken a nap. Seriously! LOL
I didn't, I came home and fed the kids a snack before bed. Paul picked up Jourdan for the weekend and Jason is doing....whatever teenagers do. At the moment, all is quiet in the Watkins household. A very rare treat.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
I'm A Crier!
I just read a great post on Beth's blog. You can find a link to it if you look over to the right of this page. As I was reading it, it made me cry. She spoke of her kids and how thankful she is for what she has in her life. It is a wonderful post and I hope you will read it.
At the end of a long and stressful day I'm sitting here in my room listening to Sami cry in her bed. She went to bed about 8:30pm...not unreasonable for a one year old. She slept for about an hour and now she wants to get up....or she wants to lay on the couch....or she wants to be rocked....or she wants to play. I don't know, she just isn't happy.
While I was reading about Beth and how she spoke about her kids, I thought to myself.....I need to get a grip. I'm so exhausted that it's ridiculous. I don't sleep. I work, go to school, take care of four kids and a husband. I do laundry and clean the house....heaven forbid someone should sweep the floor or spray some pinesol on the bathroom counter to clean it. Scott works nights so I am a single mother with four kids. I am exhausted! I know, I already said that.
For those of you who are mom's, maybe you can relate to what I'm going through right now. I come home from work and I don't get five minutes to myself. I don't even get to pee by myself. There is always a little one in the bathroom with me getting into the drawer, or trying to turn ont he water in the tub, or pulling dirty clothes out of the hamper. Sometimes I pick everything up off the floor and turn my back to get the Kirby out of the closet and when I turn around every toy is back on the floor. Other times, when its 10:30 at night and I'm so tired that I could cry, I have a little creepy girl who refuses to sleep. And she cries. Then she cries some more. After that, she cries.
Today, at work, I cried. I cried because I am so tired and I never catch up on my sleep. I don't have five minutes to myself. By the time I get home, Jourdan has been with the kids all afternoon and she wants out. I don't blame her, it's tough to babysit little kids and it's worse when they are your siblings. So, she's outta here. But that's ok.
Honestly, I think that Scott and I are both tired. I think he can't wait to go to work in the afternoon. I don't blame him, sometimes I 'd like to go back to work after I've been home for five minutes.
So, as I read Beth's post it made me cry. Not in a bad way, lol. I just long for the feeling that she is having right now. And I long for a peaceful night, if it ever comes.
At the end of a long and stressful day I'm sitting here in my room listening to Sami cry in her bed. She went to bed about 8:30pm...not unreasonable for a one year old. She slept for about an hour and now she wants to get up....or she wants to lay on the couch....or she wants to be rocked....or she wants to play. I don't know, she just isn't happy.
While I was reading about Beth and how she spoke about her kids, I thought to myself.....I need to get a grip. I'm so exhausted that it's ridiculous. I don't sleep. I work, go to school, take care of four kids and a husband. I do laundry and clean the house....heaven forbid someone should sweep the floor or spray some pinesol on the bathroom counter to clean it. Scott works nights so I am a single mother with four kids. I am exhausted! I know, I already said that.
For those of you who are mom's, maybe you can relate to what I'm going through right now. I come home from work and I don't get five minutes to myself. I don't even get to pee by myself. There is always a little one in the bathroom with me getting into the drawer, or trying to turn ont he water in the tub, or pulling dirty clothes out of the hamper. Sometimes I pick everything up off the floor and turn my back to get the Kirby out of the closet and when I turn around every toy is back on the floor. Other times, when its 10:30 at night and I'm so tired that I could cry, I have a little creepy girl who refuses to sleep. And she cries. Then she cries some more. After that, she cries.
Today, at work, I cried. I cried because I am so tired and I never catch up on my sleep. I don't have five minutes to myself. By the time I get home, Jourdan has been with the kids all afternoon and she wants out. I don't blame her, it's tough to babysit little kids and it's worse when they are your siblings. So, she's outta here. But that's ok.
Honestly, I think that Scott and I are both tired. I think he can't wait to go to work in the afternoon. I don't blame him, sometimes I 'd like to go back to work after I've been home for five minutes.
So, as I read Beth's post it made me cry. Not in a bad way, lol. I just long for the feeling that she is having right now. And I long for a peaceful night, if it ever comes.
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